Is John Madden a Bio-Terrorist? (Humor)

BizContributor IFebruary 8, 2009

As most of you have probably seen by now, Tom Cable was named as the permanent head coach of the Oakland Raiders. Al Davis and Tom Cable sat in front of the media as Davis introduced Cable as the head coach, as well as the two of them fielding questions.

The whole scene was laughable. The unknown Cable, sitting and basking in the glory of the bay area media like he were at an all you could eat cheeseburger buffet. He was kindly introduced by the second most hated man in the NFL clothed in his finest pleather jacket from the '60s, Al Davis; only thanks to Terrell Owens.

At least this time around Al did not declare that he knew nothing about this guy and therefore could not introduce him as he did when announcing him as the interim head coach.

Both parties appeared quite content with the decisions that had been made and frightfully seemed to believe the words that were coming out of their own mouths.

Al Davis neglected to mention that Tom Cable was hired solely because no qualified coach would even sit down with him after his treatment of Lane Kiffin after his Week Four firing.


I understand that as a new coach, coming into a place like Oakland, you do want to portray a sense of confidence to the fans that have stood behind the ailing franchise for so many years.

This guy has promised to make the playoffs this year. I’m sorry Tom, you have a better shot at finding a cure for AIDS. Tell the fans that you will improve upon last years record, don’t tell them you will make the playoffs.

This was all based on the fact that Cable felt as if the Raiders, “did some good stuff at the end.” Granted, you play in a terrible division. Even the Raiders can put up points on the Bronco’s defense. Sounds like LT is out of San Diego and their D isn’t a whole lot better than that of the Broncos.

The Chiefs are the Chiefs and I know Tom is thanking his lucky stars for the home and home he gets with them every year. The fact is that a healthy Merriman for the Chargers will pull that D together and should waltz them right to the AFC West division title.

Denver is a much better team than Oakland even with the defense of a high school team.

Basically Tom, last year the division winner went 8-8, and you were still no where close to winning it. Although, I would like this time to thank you for ‘the good stuff you did at the end’ by beating the Buccaneers to give my Eagles a ‘win to get in’ scenario.

Cable went on to tell the media that, “It is our time now.” What has changed so drastically from a season ago when you took the team to a 4-8 record after taking over for Lane Kiffin?

All of a sudden you have a plan to make a bad team into a playoff team overnight and miraculously take JaMarcuss Russel off the road that Alex Smith just repaved for young quarterbacks. In due time, Tom Cable will find out that he has lied to all of Raider’s nation by promising a playoff birth.

At least when Lane Kiffin was the head coach in Oakland, there was something to look at in the stands when there wasn’t anything to look at on the field. That is more than we will be able to say this year with Cable at the helm.

We knew Al Davis was senile, and Tom Cable appears to be senile. Did the winningest coach in Raider’s history, John Madden, infect this organization with senility?