The NBA used to be filled with awesome nicknames.
A nickname used to be a way of recognizing a player and the unique attributes that player brought to the game.
"The Iceman", "The Human Highlight Reel", "Chocolate Thunder" and "Dr. Dunkenstein" happen to be a few of my all-time favorites.
Nowadays, there are still nicknames, but they are mostly plays on players' names.
"Melo", "D-Fish", "Durantula" and "King" James don't hold a candle to "The Rifleman" or "The Skywalker".
Since Shaq and his endless supply of nicknames left the league, the most unique moniker left is "The Black Mamba".
"Black Mamba" is unique and a very fitting description of the way in which Kobe Bryant plays basketball, such as "Kangaroo Kid" was for Billy Cunningham so many years ago.
As the rumor of the Lakers being interesting in trading for Timberwolves forward Michael Beasley started spreading, I realized this was the perfect time to introduce the best nickname to come along since Kobe starting being called "Black Mamba".
I have heard Beasley referred to as "B-Easy" many times, but to me there is no more apt description of him than "The Roomba".
You remember the Roomba don't you?
If you don't, the Roomba was a robotic vacuum cleaner that promised to take care of cleaning your floors while you were out of the house or just too busy to vacuum yourself.
Roomba's appeal was in it's ease, just press a few buttons and you will come home to a spotless floor.
While Roomba did do what it was advertised to do, it took constant vigilance in order to keep Roomba on track.
If you left it alone for more than 10 minutes, Roomba inevitably would get stuck cleaning the same spot over and over again.
Now if you take those last three statements and replace Roomba with Beasley and cleaning floors with basketball, I believe you have the perfect description of Michael Beasley and how he plays the game.
Beasley's appeal is in the ease in which he plays basketball.
When Beasley is on, he makes scoring look effortless and you wonder how you got along before him.
Beasley does what he is advertised to do. He is a tremendous scorer, a good rebounder and an average defender.
However, as Rick Adelman found out this year, you need to constantly be reminding Beasley to grab some boards and play defense or he gets stuck in shooting mode and is content to only try and score.
Just like the Roomba, you want to believe you can put Beasley into the game and he will do all of the things promised by his potential.
However, just like Roomba ends up eventually stuck banging against a wall, Beasley eventually becomes uninterested in anything but scoring and everyone else is left banging their heads' against a wall.
Still, the fact remains that "The Roomba" is something every team is interested in, even if the previous reviews have been poor.
Just like every person who bought a Roomba thought their house was ideal for a robot-vaccum, every coach and GM believes their team would be the perfect place for Beasley to reach his full potential.
So, will the Timberwolves finally cut ties with a player, who when working properly, can make basketball look so easy and turn to a player who may require more effort, but in the end the job will get done?
It seems as if this is so.
It's a shame too. "The Roomba" was the exact type of player the Wolves need to take the next step towards the playoffs and beyond.
It is possible the front-office will pick up the final year of Beasley's contract or even sign him to a long-term deal, but reports seem to have "The Roomba" on his way out of town.
In the end, the Timberwolves found out that the easy way isn't always the most effective way, such as the previous owners of "The Roomba" found out as well.
It is definitely possible that Beasley ends up on the Lakers and he starts to figure things out.
Heck, even the Roomba got more effective as time went on and upgrades were made to the machine.
Beasley is not a machine, but any team who acquires his services will certainly try to upgrade his work ethic and dependability in order to make him as effective as possible.
Will it be the Lakers to take a chance on such a promising product like "The Roomba"?
Time will tell, but the possibility of "The Black Mamba" playing with "The Roomba" already has me excited.
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