"I told Vickie...that I love her.”
This utterly strange phrase muttered by John Cena Monday night on Raw left even the most dedicated WWE fan asking if “Johnny Boy” had lost his mind.
The serious look on his face made us believe every word that he was saying, and when we thought he was going to break out laughing, he didn't.
He then left the ring after telling a shocked Edge and Big Show that he would see them at Wrestlemania XXV. I myself had not had been so shocked in all my years of watching WWE.
Cena continued up the ramp and was stopped when Edge told him that he didn't really love Vickie Guerrero and that she would tear up the contract.
He then told Edge that she was not going to do that. Now at this point, there were either two options WWE could have taken:
1) Reveal that Cena/Vickie were in fact legally married. This probably wouldn’t happen since Edge/Vickie never were "legally" married, as their "wedding" ended when Triple H showed the video of Edge making out with the wedding planner, Alicia Fox.
This is the reason Cena was put into the match, as you could see Vickie was making excuses as to why, like it was "fair to the audience.”
2) Have Cena break out laughing and say it was a joke, and reveal something else. Thankfully it was this option, as I want to have less Vickie than we already have.
So instead of telling us that he loved Vickie, Cena told us that he had some friends from his hometown last week that would sell you a T-shirt or take your ticket...and that he even knew the guy running the security camera.
The “Vickie's been cheating on Edge with Big Show” theory that we have known for months was confirmed when the following took place:
Vickie and Big Show said that they wanted to keep this "quiet" until after Wrestlemania XXV. The phrase "animalistic urges" was used by Vickie (shudder), and there was also a sound of someone apparently taking a leak in the background, which turned out to be Edge in the shower.
A 7-foot, 400-pound monster then made out with a 5-foot, 400-pound monster. Vickie then slapped Big Show on the ass, with Show smiling like an idiot at the end.
After this video, which quite frankly should only be seen on the Discovery Channel from the hours of 2 a.m. to 4 a.m., now sets up the three-way match at Wrestlemania XXV between Show, Cena, and the World Heavyweight Champion Edge. It is certainly comedy with Cena getting his two cents in and the priceless look on Edge and Show's face.
The only question is, what longterm effects will we get out of this? Who will become the champion, will Edge turn face and leave Vickie, and will Vickie ever be fired?
In the meantime all I can say is: Vickie, you got some splaining to do....
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