Kill them with kindness. At the very least, make them go insane and get themselves suspended with a small smooch on the cheek.
One handball player tried to get under the skin of another by landing a kiss on the other's cheek. It pretty much worked better than expected.
Our antagonist loses his mind, grabs his junk and is now subject to a league suspension, all because he couldn't stand a little peck on the cheek.
Here is the video spotted by Larry Brown Sports. (Caution that there may be some NSFW images, in the form of the junk grabbing we already mentioned.)
Yahoo! Sports reports on the incident between Italian teams Briskena and SSV Bozen in what was apparently a championship game.
The maniac who gets kissed is Ivan Stuffer, who is lining up for Briskena when this jokester genius comes over and smooches him into lunacy.
After the hilarious smack on the cheek, Stuffer shoves his opponent to the ground, which gets him dismissed instantly from the game.
What gets him a reported two-game match suspension, however, is what takes place next. For some reason, the shove isn't enough for Stuffer to truly express his disgust.
He drops his shorts, grabs his stuff and yells at the crowd. I don't know much about handball, but I know organized sports.
You don't do that, ever.
As for Stuffer, please know that everyone in the league is now practicing their sly kisses because they know that's the perfect way to get you tossed.
Hit me up on Twitter for more stories with less kissing.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!