March 19, 2009
Disclaimer: This may seem hypocritical, given that this is written on a site designed for sports blogging. It's not.
Aside from Dane Cook, who is the least funny person in America, my next least favorite "funny" celebrity is none other than ESPN.com's Bill Simmons.
Everyone knows him as "The Sports Guy," the mainstay of ESPN.com's Page 2. Let's face it, Bill Simmons is a New England yahoo at heart, so I would take the majority of his comments about most everything with a grain of salt.
Simmons demonstrates clear and indisputable bias in almost everything he writes. Aside from that, I cannot stand "The Sports Guy." He has single-handedly ruined sports journalism, attempting to turn it into a "blogging contest" where you report less than 10 percent sports news and facts, and then spend the bulk (greater than 90 percent) of your time rambling about nonsensical lasagna related to your "buddies" or "the sports gal."
I have noticed in reading newspapers, websites, and the like that Simmons' style of writing has polluted many other media outlets as well. The toxen has spread, causing other writers and bloggers to exhibit the inability to report on something without adding unwarranted talk about your "pals," and attempts at being "funny."
If you want to define one individual who took traditional, refined print journalism, and ran it through a flushing toilet a few times, look no further. It's Bill Simmons. Simmons deserves credit for all of the incessant blogs on the Internet and for the trend of watering down any sports related story with personal and celeb-speak garbage.
I instantly lose respect for anyone who reads this gossip queenery. They are part of what is wrong with America today. It's one thing to read it and keep it internal, which is borderline acceptable. It's entirely another to print it out, carry it around the office, and use his one liners and inside jokes as your own. It's downright embarrassing.
Simmons is a pop culture gossip queen. Simmons regulars who read his columns and then try to take "sports opinion" out of it are not worth anyone's time.
"The Sports Guy" is an inappropriate name for this enormous dork. "The Gossip Queen" who destroyed journalism is a better and more fitting description.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!