Being an Arizona Cardinals fan is akin to being a heavy drinker. Every Sunday, you swear off the Cardinals (or the bottle in our analogy) because the after effects of watching them are severe headaches, dehydration and depression.
Nothing about that statement is hyperbolic. It's that bad.
Case in point: The Seattle Seahawks just polished off a nice win over the Cardinals by a final scare of 58-0. But that's what happens when you turn the ball over eight times as the Cardinals did.
The Cardinals were beaten harder than a piñata filled with case. Numbers never lie, right?
And the fans have noticed. Apparently, they're still showing up, but they are no longer willing to reveal their identity.
The affiliation with such a horrendous football team with a history littered with disappointing seasons has taken its toll.
The Cardinals started the season providing hope to the huddled masses that there may be an oasis in the football desert. However, those four straight wins, including a victory over the New England Patriots, were a mirage.
Arizona has not won a game since. In many cases, it hasn't even been close.
During the recent nine-game losing streak, Arizona has been outscored by a total of 231 to 95. Which means the Cardinals have lost each game by an average of 25.7 points.
The team is so terrible that it urged one season-ticket holder to declare his purchase was the equivalent of blending a funeral with the movie Groundhog Day. It's sad and it's the same thing every time.
However, before every funeral, there must be a fatality. Which is probably what inspired Bleacher Report Featured Columnist Ryan Davenport to commission a moment of silence for Larry Fitzgerald's career.
So rock that paper bag, sir. Being known as a Cardinals fan will do nothing for you.