There are millions of fantasy football owners out there who could use a good laugh after how their dreadful seasons ended, and one of the quicker ways to turn their frowns upside down is by thinking about the team names from some of their fantasy leagues this year.
Fantasy football owners are definitely a creative bunch, and they get to show off their creativity by naming their fantasy teams. And while some go with boring names such as Manning’s Men, The Overachievers and I Like Touchdowns, many others concoct names that are more creative than a Mike Shanahan offense.
So here are eight fantasy football team names that made us laugh in 2012:
Joe Flacco’s Seagulls
This interesting mix of a mediocre fantasy quarterback (Baltimore’s Joe Flacco) and a one-hit-wonder rock band from the 80's (A Flock of Seagulls) made me chuckle as much as I did when I would watch Green Bay’s Mason Crosby badly shank a field goal attempt.
The ironic twist is this name was used by a division winner from one of my leagues that did not even have Flacco on his roster. Maybe his team name next year will be “And I Run ... I Run So Far With Ray Rice!”
Foster: Australian For Touchdown
Australia is not only known for giving us Yahoo Serious, Men at Work and Nicole Kidman. The country is also famous for its Foster’s Lager, and the beer has probably been enjoyed by many a fantasy owner during a football Sunday.
Houston’s Arian Foster was certainly one of the premier players in fantasy football again this year, so he definitely deserved a team named after him in fantasy leagues. So playing on the Foster’s company slogan of “Foster’s: Australian For Beer” was an innovative touch.
My Johnson is a Megatron
This team name has it all—double meaning, sexual innuendo, bravado—not to mention it is hysterical and also is a blanket statement in case other fantasy owners might think this owner’s Johnson was Houston’s Andre or Tennessee’s Chris.
The Johnson referred to in this team name is obviously Detroit’s Calvin Johnson, and “Megatron” yielded mega-numbers in 2012 by setting the single-season record for receiving yards with 1,964 yards. If you want to compare your Johnson to someone else’s, chances are you are going to win with this one.
Teenage Newton Ninja Turtles
Even if you thought the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were ridiculous cartoon characters that made for god-awful comic books, television shows and video games, sticking Carolina’s Cam Newton’s name in the middle was a clever touch. I know I would have considered the Turtles a more interesting bunch if Newton replaced Donatello.
Marshawn Lynch’s Skittles
Seattle’s top tailback has become famous for his love of the colorful candy with the crazy commercials in recent years. He has been spotted on the sidelines chomping on the sweet treats and even got a two-year supply from the company when news of his Skittles eating became fodder for the media.
So playing on Lynch’s sweet tooth made this columnist smirk. Since Lynch just rushed for a career-high 1,590 yards this season, I think fantasy owners will agree that he can have as many Skittles as he darn well pleases.
Dez Bryant’s Babysitters
When word came down before the season that Dallas’ ultra-talented receiver was required to follow a strict set of rules (no strip clubs with Pacman Jones!) and have people keep tabs on him at all times so his poor decision-making would not get him into further trouble, Bryant became the laughingstock of football and fantasy football.
Yet Bryant stayed out of trouble off the field and was lights out on the field, racking up 1,382 yards and a dozen touchdowns to make him one of fantasy’s most valuable receivers, and part of his success has to be attributed to the security squad that insured he went to bed early and did not touch any alcohol. Kudos to Bryant, his babysitters and the fantasy owners who came up with this team name.
Password is Taco
FX’s cult hit The League has spawned many fantasy football team names thanks to some of its outrageous characters and terrific terms. And while other League-related phrases such as The Vinegar Strokes and Chalupa Batman were commonly used among the fantasy football world as team names, the most popular one used in ESPN leagues according to Uproxx.com was Password is Taco.
Password is Taco was the team name for the character of Taco on the show. Taco is a lovable goof who does not really care about winning his fantasy league or even running his team, which is why he named his team after the password he uses to access his team on the league website.
The League’s fan base has been buoyed by the rising popularity of fantasy football and has just been renewed for a fifth season, so expect more team names to come out of future plot lines from the comedy.
It Sacks to be Cutler
A lot of things have been synonymous with Chicago quarterback Jay Cutler during his tenure in the Windy City—injuries, sideline rants, pouting and the copious amount of times he has been sacked thanks to his porous offensive line.
Cutler endured another hellish season behind his leaky line as Chicago allowed the eighth-most sacks in the NFL and Cutler suffered a concussion, a sprained knee and an injured neck. So this fantasy team name fit, and if you owned Cutler, it probably sucked to be you.
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