Because Tom Brady may one day be invaded by 15th century townsfolk wishing to overthrow their king, he made sure to include a moat in front of his new $20 million house.
I mean, do you have a moat?
The Detroit Free Press had video of Brady's new Los Angeles home that can no longer be called a mere home thanks to the medieval security system installed in front of a portion of the mansion.
Per the report, the cost of the new digs, covering 22,000 square feet of land, was $20 million and comes complete with "a resort-style pool, massive play area for children and a common medieval fortification system."
Sportress of Blogitude has some more pictures of the enormous property that houses pretty much the luckiest man alive.
I'm not even talking about his amazing endorsements, model wife or job as a world-renowned athlete. I am completely jelly-face over the small amount of water that features predominately in front of his mansion.
Let's be honest, because life is all just one big pissing contest. From the moment I hit kindergarten, I have been trying to one-up my pals.
While it started with having the better Karate Kid action figure with punching Ralph Macchio, it has extended to an adult life that is anything but mature.
Imagine going up to your buddy with, "Oh yeah, you and Susan put in a new garden and gazebo? I have a moat. Yeah, don't make a big deal out of it, because it's just a moat."
Yes, I know most of you will clown on Brady for being at home on February 3 and not at the Super Bowl. But somehow, I don't think he will be hurting too badly, protected by the warmth that is a protective measure usually reserved for kings.
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