Dallas Mavericks Grow Modest Playoff Beards: Won't Shave Until .500

Gabe Zaldivar@gabezalPop Culture Lead WriterFebruary 7, 2013

ORLANDO, FL - JANUARY 20:  Vince Carter #25 of the Dallas Mavericks smiles during the game against the Orlando Magic at Amway Center on January 20, 2013 in Orlando, Florida.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images)
Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

The playoff beard is a time-honored tradition that brings players together in the brotherhood of facial hair.

What the Mavericks are doing with the custom is really just a reminder of how awful their season is going. 

Yahoo! Sports reports on the peculiar facial hair some Mavericks players are rocking these days. Just in case you were wondering, certain players are planning on growing out their beards until the team reaches .500. 

Three cheers for lofty goals. 

According to the Dallas Morning News, the 21-28 Dallas Mavericks are banding together by swearing off razors for the time being. 

Nowitzki was asked by a reporter what was up with this beard growth, and whether his wife was a fan of the new facial hair. 

“Not really,” Nowitzki said in response to the second question.

He said the mostly team-wide beard pact was started about two weeks ago by O.J. Mayo, Dahntay Jones and Vince Carter.

“We said we’re not going to shave until we’re back to .500,” Nowitzki said. “So it’s been rough. There’s been some itching going on. And since we’re still down seven games below .500, that’s a long way to go.”

Soon, the Mavericks will look like the guys from Duck Dynasty. Here is a computer-generated estimation of what we might find by the time the guys reach .500. 

As Yahoo! Sports reminds us, 13 of the club's next 20 games will come against playoff teams. However, they do have a nice little home stand to look forward to. 

Six of the next seven games will be at home, where the team enjoys a 13-9 record on the year. You also have to consider this isn't a solemn pact against any and all shaving, because Nowitzki divulged "trimming of beards in the neck area is allowed."

Well, that's sort of cheating, but we will look the other way on the whole neck-trimming, because the rest of their respective faces should be rather ornate with slowly-growing badges of mediocrity. 

If you are wondering how the Mavericks are doing this year, don't look at the standings. Just take a gander at their pictures or images on TV.

The longer the beard, the longer the drought. 

Playoff beards are so last year. NBA, make room for the .500 beards, the mark of a team dedicated to not being awful, but just merely not very good. 


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