Witticisms (Or is That Too Big a Word for the B/R Wrestling Community?)

Lanny PoffoCorrespondent IApril 11, 2009

Hello, again B/R Wrestling Community, or my personal friends and family, or whoever it is that actually reads my work.

I suffered a major psychological crisis today.  I learned, through Mina, that Shawn Michaels is only 43 years old.  I had been operating, through my own poor math skills, under the assumption that he was about 47, and even then I thought, wow, I'm old, Shawn Michaels is only 15 years older than I am.

But now I find out that it's 11 years!  God!  Look at my profile picture.  Does it look like I'm only 11 years younger than Shawn Michaels?  Someone please tell me Taker is at least 48.  I'm begging you.

The WWE lately has me worried that I'm going to have to do something else to waste five hours a week, and throw in another three monthly.  It has not exactly been great as of late, unless I'm supposed to get excited by one hundred John Cena lookalikes. 

For those old enough to remember, all I could think about while watching Steamboat this week, was, "Why couldn't they just have let he and Macho Man have a rematch during the tournament at Wrestlemania IV?  Was it that important that Greg Valentine be the big obstacle in Randy's title pursuit?

I was wondering, while watching the Hardy's fight each other if they were going to relate to the audience that it was indeed Matt, who slipped drugs, unknowingly, into Jeff's drink.

While watching HHH-Orton, I had my 20-month old son sleeping on the couch next to me.  He was snoring a little bit.  He was making twice as much noise as the crowd was in Houston.

What feels heavier on John Cena's shoulders?  Big Show and Edge, or the fact that no one over the age of 16 likes him? Or the fact that more people watched the video I just posted on Facebook, than saw 12 Rounds....12 Rounds? What's that, one round per person who paid to see it? 

What's his next movie going to be...He plays a school teacher, who's wife has been kidnapped, and he has to save her?  Oh no, thats been done before.  Twice.  By him.

Is it me, or is Vince McMahon starting to look a lot like Linda McMahon?

I have said in the past that I thought Mark Henry was placed in the MITB match just so he could act as a cushion.  Looks like his services could have been greater put to use in the Taker-HBK match.

Good thing all of the McMahon Family "Rub" is going to guys like Orton and HHH, you know guys who could use it, as opposed to other guys on the roster who are already way over one way or the other with the crowd.

B/R Wrestling Community in this universe: "How could they have the tag match as a dark match?  It's an outrage!

B/R Wrestling Community in the universe where the match was during Wrestlemania: How could they waste time on that match?

Hey, B/R Wrestling Community Regulars, did ya ever think that if you didn't spend so much time and effort bickering and complaining and fighting and tattle tailing and one upping, and ganging upping on, and piling on, and holier than thou-ing each other, that some of you, the talented ones anyway, might be writing for something other than Bleacher Report? 

Focus your energy on what's important.  Not who is writing 20 crappy articles a day, and who is model gorgeous, and who looks like the scary guy in the goonies, and who's got multiple accounts, and who's news is not breaking, and who's got a faction, and who's got a faction of non-factioners.

Not who should be Community Leader, and the empty threats of naming names and than we keep refreshing profiles to see when the next article comes out and no names are named, and the widespread conspiracy to keep me in the low to mid 20's in the rankings.

Stop focusing on changing your profile pictures every three days ADK and Shane, and the everyone liking JLB when if you actually took the time to get to know me I bet I'm just as likable, and the ohhhhh, forget it!

I'm kidding of course, please continue the insanity...it's what makes the Wrestling Community of B/R so enjoyable to keep coming back to.

Til Next Time.