Derek Jeter Walks into Starbucks as Star Yankee, Comes out as Anonymous 'Philip'

Gabe ZaldivarSenior Writer IIApril 3, 2017

Derek Jeter is officially some kind of superhero, living his nights as a star shortstop for the New York Yankees and playing the part of mild-mannered "Phillip" by day. 

Gothamist spotted the 38-year-old shortstop coming out of a local Starbucks with a coffee in hand. I know, nothing out of the ordinary here. 

Take just a closer look and you will see the man who is still nursing an ankle injury is sporting a cup of Joe with the moniker "Philip" emblazoned over the side. 

Gothamist has some theories that all seem plausible. The most likely is Jeter went in and decided to give an alias so he wouldn't be bombarded with the usual pomp that greets a man of his fame.  

Of course, that means Jeter is the worst master of disguise since Dana Carvey's 2002 flop, because he does little to cover up the fact he is very much not Philip. 

The other working theory is Jeter just jacked Phil's skinny vanilla latte and is in the middle of pulling off what might have been the perfect crime. 

Somewhere there is a very dejected Phil trying to explain to incredulous New Yorkers that Jeter just stole his coffee. 

Last on Gothamist's list of explanations is one I really feel is the best: Baristas are not exactly the best at grasping a name given to them and then placing that same thing on the cup. 

I know from personal experience that I rarely get the proper, "Gabe." More often I am given "Gave," "Abe" and the spectacular "Grabe."

I could just imagine Jeter standing right next to the barista as they shouted, "Philip...Philip...Philip...we have a chai tea latte for Philip."

Either way, Yankees fans can now have fun cheering Philip whenever he is ready to return to the lineup. 

I will now expect Jeter's next excursion to the ubiquitous coffee shop to feature a hat, glasses and fake mustache. 

Well, at least the cup didn't say, "Sherick Shmeter." 


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