The Doctor's Final WWE Recap List Part 3: SmackDown

The Doctor Chris MuellerFeatured ColumnistMay 26, 2013

Illustration by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)
Illustration by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap WWE shows with a long list.

The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials too, just because I get bored during them.

This is the final recap list for the foreseeable future. There is a message at the bottom of the article that will explain everything.
I try to interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the things we learned, loved and hated from the show.

1. SmackDown's typical opening video is followed by MizTV. I always imagine that the following conversation must have happened at some point.
2. Miz- "Hey, Vince. Can I have some money for the set of my talk show?"
3. Vince- "Here's $100, now leave me alone. On second thought, just turn a WWE sign upside down and hang it over the ring."
4. Miz- "What about furniture or a TV like Jericho has?"
5. Vince- "You aren't Chris Jericho. Now, go hang a sign upside down and interview a ballroom dancer."
6. Miz- "Yes sir."
7. Miz interviews Fandango and he asks him about what happened last week when he started dancing in the middle of a match.

8. Fandango and Summer Rae remind me of the Ken and Barbie dolls from Toy Story for some reason.
9. Don't you think it's plausible that Fandango has spent an entire night modeling outfits for her?
10. The face Fandango makes after Miz tells a bad joke about Skittles is hilarious.
11. Fandango gets in Miz's face right as Wade Barrett's music hits and he makes his way to the ring.
12. Barrett tells Fandango he will smash every tooth in his head if he crosses him again.
13. Barrett and Miz get into a fight and a ref comes out and breaks them up.
14. After the break, we get the IC title match between Miz and Wade Barrett.
15. I never took the time to read what the back of Miz's shirt says. It's actually kind of funny.
16. Barrett is in control when we return from the break, and Fandango is on commentary.
17. As soon as Miz gets control, Fandango tells someone to hit his music and he takes Summer Rae to dance at ringside.
18. Miz is a little distracted and he ends up running into Winds of Change.
19. I am not sure I have ever seen someone take that move the way Miz did. It looked awesome.
20. Miz ends up kicking Fandango through the ropes and the music stops.
21. Fandango hits Miz in the head to cause a disqualification. Miz wins, but he is not the IC champion.
22. Barrett and Fandango team up on Miz for a bit, until Barrett runs through Fandango with the Bull Hammer.

23. I love it. Heels attacking heels is always entertaining. That was what made Randy Orton such a great heel character. Even the heels had to watch their back or risk getting an RKO.
24. He would RKO people for literally no reason back then. It was great.
25. Daniel Bryan is backstage looking upset and Kane comes in to give him a pep talk.
26. Bryan takes something the wrong way and walks off, leaving Kane looking confused.
27. They had a good run, but it looks like this might be the start to a storyline that splits them up.
28. The question is whether Kane or Bryan turns on one another, or they amicably split like Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow tried to do.
29. Jack Swagger is already in the ring when we return from the break so he can face Daniel Bryan.
30. Bryan goes right after Swagger after the bell rings. He ends up clotheslining Swagger out of the ring and following up with a suicide dive through the ropes.
31. Bryan hits a series of kicks to Swagger before rolling him back in.
32. Bryan hits a dropkick from the top rope for a two count.
33. Swagger nearly has his head taken off when Bryan hits a running dropkick in the corner.
34. Bryan is on fire. He kicks Swagger a bunch of times before hitting another running dropkick.
35. Swagger catches a kick and picks Bryan up for a slam and a near fall.
36. Bryan rolls over on a Gutwrench attempt from Swagger and he tries to get the No Lock on Swagger.
37. Swagger counters into a Patriot Lock, but Bryan counters that into a roll up for a near fall.
38. Swagger takes Bryan down with a knee to the gut, but when he goes for the Swaggerbomb, Bryan gets his knees up.
39. Bryan finally nails that big kick to the head of Swagger.
40. Oh my God! Bryan grabs both of Swagger's arms and just starts stomping on his face until he decides to roll him over for the No Lock to get the submission win.
41. Bryan locks the hold back in after the bell and Kane has to rip him off of Swagger.
42. Bryan walks away as Kane looks disturbed by Bryan's actions.
43. The way Bryan ended that match was awesome. It was extremely brutal, and one of the more effective ways I have ever seen to set up for a submission hold.

44. Damien Sandow is in the ring wearing a suit. There is a table with a big knotted rope sitting on top of it.
45. Sandow runs down the series of strongman contests Mark Henry and Sheamus had, which is funny since he was there cheering for Henry during the truck pull.
46. Damien Sandow is still a rookie on the main roster, but whenever I see him I get the feeling that we are watching a legend in the making.
47. You don't often get to realize those kinds of things while they are happening. It is only after someone becomes a legend do we look back at their beginnings.
48. The way he points at all the fans when he says "Lowest common denominator" is perfect.
49. Very few people ever have the kind of understanding of their character that Sandow has. He knows who he is and he knows how to play that character perfectly. Trust me when I say that Sandow is someone who will headline PPVs someday.
50. Sandow says the thing on the table is called a Gordian knot. It is apparently almost impossible to untie.
51. Sandow mocks Matt Striker for being a substitute teacher instead of a full-time teacher. He then challenges Striker to untie the knot.
52. Sheamus comes out and when he can't untie the knot, Sandow takes out a pair of bolt cutters and just clips it.
53. Sandow holds up the rope like a title belt.
54. Whoever thought to have Sandow's catchphrase be "You're welcome" deserves a raise. It is the perfect heel thing to say.
55. Sheamus tries for a Brogue Kick, but Sandow escapes and brags about knowing what Sheamus would do when he couldn't win the game.

56. Sheamus ends up throwing a totally innocent Matt Striker through the ropes into Sandow.
57. After the break we get Chris Jericho vs. Big Show.
58. I got distracted in the early part of the match when JBL and Cole were talking about Tonto.
59. Jericho gets in a flurry of offense, but Show takes him down with a spear for a two count.
60. Show calls for the Chokeslam, but Jericho counters.
61. Y2J comes off the top rope right into a huge chest chop from Big Show.
62. Once the fight spills to the outside, we see Jericho run Big Show into the ring post and then deliver a Codebreaker that sends Big Show into the timekeeper's area.
63. Big Show can't make the count, and Jericho wins.
64. Show comes back with a chair, but Jericho turns the tables on Big Show and hits him a bunch of times with the chair.
65. I wonder if Jericho will face Big Show at Payback?

66. After the break we get another recap of Triple H and Curtis Axel from Monday.
67. Curtis Axel is making his SmackDown debut tonight against Sin Cara.
68. Axel says he won the match on Monday, which I guess is true since Triple H couldn't continue.
69. Just how far Paul Heyman can take Axel will be up to Axel himself. He has had chances in the past, and this is a huge opportunity. He better not waste it.
70. JBL and Cole put over their YouTube show and Josh Mathews asks if they pay for this much time to advertise themselves.
71. JBL said if they had that much stroke they would get rid of Mathews.
72. Axel toys with Sin Cara in the early minutes of the match.
73. Sin Cara comes back with some of his high-flying offense, but Axel quickly puts a stop to it.
74. Axel ends the match after hitting a cool-looking swinging neckbreaker for the pin and the win.

75. After the break we get the US title rematch between Kofi Kingston and Dean Ambrose.
76. Just like in the title match at Extreme Rules, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins let Ambrose go to the ring alone.
77. Kofi gets in some good shots early on, but it doesn't take Ambrose long to take control of the match.
78. There is a moment where I am not really sure what happened. Ambrose was bent over holding his gut and Kofi came flying off the ropes onto his back. They fell to the mat very awkwardly.
79. It did not look like that was supposed to happen that way. Cole covered it up a little by immediately saying it looked like a new move.
80. Reigns and Rollins come back to interfere, and Kofi takes them out before they can cause a DQ.
81. The Shield end up getting the upper hand and the match ends by DQ.
82. Randy Orton and Sheamus come out to even the odds.
83. Teddy Long comes out to make this into a six-man tag-team match.
84. I have run out of ways to make that sound funny. He has made so many tag-team matches over the years.
85. We return from the break to see Orton putting Rollins through the ringer.
86. Kofi tags in and goes to work with kicks to Rollins.
87. Ambrose and Sheamus both tag in, with Sheamus easily taking control of the smaller Superstar.
88. Ambrose and Reigns save Rollins from being hit with the Irish Hand Grenades as we head to a break.
89. After the break, we see Orton down outside the ring. He beats the count and kicks out of a pin from Rollins.
90. Cole calls attention to Roman Reigns nursing his ankle at ringside.
91. Orton gets worked over by Ambrose and Rollins for quite some time.
92. Rollins brings Orton up to the top rope with him, but Orton begins to fight back and eventually he hits the superplex from the top rope.
93. Sheamus gets the tag and comes in with tons of offense for everyone n The Shield.
94. Reigns hits Sheamus with a spear, only to get RKO'd right outside the ring.
95. Kofi tags in fresh and he comes in with a springboard cross body for a near fall.
96. Ambrose eventually hits his finisher to get the pin and the win.
97. After the match, The Shield celebrate with their titles in the ring to end the show.

98. It will be very interesting to see which three WWE Superstars eventually end up beating The Shield in a match.
99. The only clean loss I can think of is when Ambrose tapped to The Undertaker's Hell's Gate submission. Other than that they either always win or get DQ'd.
100. This show was average. I liked some of the matches, but the show did not really do much to advance any storylines.
101. I really hope Ziggler is able to recover in time for Payback. The show is in Chicago and I am considering attending. I would love to see his first PPV title defense.


I want to sincerely thank everyone who has ever come to Bleacher Report and read these ridiculous lists over the past couple of years. To clear up a little confusion, I am not leaving Bleacher Report nor am I stopping the live coverage of Raw. I am simply choosing to end this series of articles and try something new.

To be honest, this was never meant to be a concept for a weekly article. It was just something I did for fun that seemed to catch on with fans who understood that in order to take wrestling seriously, you can't take anything seriously.

The feedback I have received over the course of this series has been indescribable. I am always humbled when I read the comments people leave, and you don't make it easy to keep my ego in check with your kind words, but I do my best to make sure that above all else, this was something enjoyable to read, even if the show was not enjoyable to watch.

I hope you will check back next week to see what I have in store for my new weekly Main Event and SmackDown recaps. The list format will be gone, but I will do my best to keep the spirit of these recaps alive by being just foolish enough to still be taken seriously.

Please take a moment and check out the other lists for this week Part 1: Raw and Part 2: Main Event. To see my very first list, click here. And Follow me on Twitter @BR_Doctor

Allons-y, Alonso!