There’s petty, then there’s “Twitter battle with a mascot” petty.
A clash of sports personalties occurred on Wednesday night involving two unlikely individuals—one was an embittered and jealous man who wears a suit and regularly starves for attention. The other was a mascot.
Mike Florio of "ProFootballTalk.com" took a turn for the troll-ish when he decided to engage in a Twitter battle with Jaxson DeVille—the Jacksonville Jaguar mascot.
The analyst-on-mascot throwdown was spotted by Rick Chandler of SportsGrid, and no—you can’t write this stuff.
The conversation was started by the big cat, who called out Florio for an inaccuracy he had published in an article about renovations being done on the Jaguars’ EverBank Field.
Florio responds with a little cat humor: Chester Cheetah. We see what you did there.
Jaxson isn’t done. He doesn’t like to be compared to that cheese-hawking sellout Chester.
No one makes fun of Florio’s website and lives to tell the kittens about it. He comes charging back with an “at least I’m not a hobo in a goofy outfit,” and oh boy, it’s on like a donkey thong. You know what I mean.
Rule No. 1 for insulting a guy who has spent 17 years of his life in a cat suit and dealing with all the jokes that come with it—don’t go for mascot jokes. They’ve heard them all.
Then the wallet-measuring came out. Florio gets more traffic than you, therefore is a superior life form.
Perhaps the most entertaining part of this entire exchange is how it ended—the mascot, who’s currently enjoying his offseason, says he doesn’t have time for the big shot NFL analyst.
Sometimes you have to know when to fold them, and one of those times is when you’re arguing with an angry, witty cat with an axe to grind.
They might make you look a pompous jerk over social media. Or you might do that to yourself.