For years, everyone in Oakland has been boasting about how good their team is. Every season, we all have to suffer from these rejects from the local Star Wars Convention, and every year they are more and more obnoxious. Unfortunately, no matter how many times they show their pretty painted faces, they still wind up hearing the same thing: RAIDERS SUCK!
Yeah, that's right. I said it, as well as everyone else who has had to deal with the likes of the fans who just don't get it. What makes these fans worse is that they don't realize just how bad the Raiders truly are. From their infamous rivalry games with the Broncos to the unbelievable transition from worst to first and worst again, Oakland has left its fans with nothing to smile about.
It's become rather apparent that the loyal fans of Oakland are just looking for reasons to go off the deep end of the NFL ocean. Their team has been the laughing stock of the NFL for years. Even their Super Bowl run turned out to be a joke when they got there.
Losing to a ferocious Tampa Bay defense was bad, but losing to the coach that you sent packing because you thought he would never make it to the Super Bowl?
That's just pathetic.
Oakland has had some things to smile about, even though they have come few and far in between, at least they're not the Miami Dolphins. But they are still the Oakland Raiders...and they have yet to put up. So shut up already!
The issues in Raiderville don't stop there as Oakland has become notorious for being the place where all pro athletes' careers come to die. Even San Francisco is getting more respect and they haven't seen the postseason since Mooch was still running the show.
But the issues didn't stop there.
The Raiders selected JaMarcus Russell in last year's draft and no one saw him for pretty much the entire season. This was no surprise simply because anyone who has to play for Oakland should just stay at home and watch them make complete and total fools of themselves every single Sunday.
Russell didn't show his mug until the Raiders season was already over, but even then, the Raiders kept trying to embarrass themselves worse than they already have. But the fans kept talking and we were constantly stocking our pantries with earplugs, duct tape, and muzzles (for those extremely anal Raider fans). Oakland sucks and everyone knows it, except their fans.
This brings us to the age old question: "Does Oakland deserve the moniker "Nation"?" The answer is simple: Absolutely NOT! They haven't earned that. The Gators earned that moniker (hence Gator Nation). The Red Sox earned that moniker (voila! Red Sox Nation).
What has Oakland done?
They have always been called "The Black Hole." I think that's because the Raiders were going to be on national TV, and you can't put @$$hole on there without an FCC fine. How about something that describes how the last few years have been for them?
I think if Oakland is hell bent on becoming a legitimate threat, they should stop grabbing players out of the San Quentin yellow pages, revoke K-Fed's season ticket privileges, and above all else, make your players play! Trust me Oakland. This time tested method has worked for every team in the AFC West. The Chiefs have found some success, as have the Chargers. Even the Broncos have been pretty decent.
I may find myself laughing at the Raiders on the outside, but deep down on the inside, I have to like those fiery fans. Their passion is a true sign of a die-hard sports fan who...ah, who am I kidding? I'm laughing all over! And all those guys deserve to get laughed at.
For an alliance of fans who are in Halloween costumes long before October, they have to realize that all they are doing are making it easier for guys like me to crack jokes and make them look how they truly are: Ridiculous.
So with that being said, I send this message to the citizens of Raiderville: The moniker of Nation is no longer yours. In fact, I don't think it's ever been yours. Accept the moniker of Raiderville, because until you guys get back into the playoffs, the only nation you guys are a part of currently resides in Detroit. You guys should get along great.
But hey! That's just my two cents. I could be wrong. But until it has been proven, Raiderville, either tell your team to put up in '08, or shut your cakers until they do. Have a nice day.
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