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Fan Shaves Floyd Mayweather's and Canelo Alvarez's Faces into Hair

Image edited by Brett Gering
Image edited by Brett GeringMike Stobe/Getty Images
Brett GeringCorrespondent IJuly 3, 2013

On Sept 14., the whirlwind of flashbulbs surrounding Floyd Mayweather and Canelo Alvarez will make MGM Grand look like a hyperactive planetarium. 

The event's well over two months away, but that's not stopping fans from graduating to full-fledged fanatics.

James Brown once said, "I don't know karate, but I know cuh-razy." 

There's crazy, and then there's sports-fan crazy.

Crazy: Running away from security.

Sports-fan crazy: Running through a College World Series (CWS) outfield while making a Vine that looks like you're flying the world's fastest kite, all the while baiting a security guard—who looks like he elbow-dropped a crocodile off the coast of Australia last week—to hunt you down like a gazelle. 

Crazy: Picking a fight.

Sports-fan crazy: Breaching protective glass while pawing like a drunken lion cub at somebody equipped with Krueger-like skates (see Limitless) and whose job description reads: "enforcer."

On BoxingScene.com, a photo surfaced that showed a fan who had the faces of Mayweather and Alvarez buzzed into his hair. 

Having a barber play Photoshop with your hair is a step down on the ladder of lunacy—it's not mocking Crocodile Dundee at the CWS, hurling yourself in a lion's den known as the penalty box or catapulting a live grenade on the soccer field.

But renting out the back side of your head as a public Etch A Sketch is a candidate to headline your life's list of regrets. It spray paints the name on your birth certificate and tattoos "That Guy" in its place.

To quote Bill Burr, "I understand liposuction. If they screw that up, you can put on a shirt. But people, there's no shirt for your face."

Fortunately for this guy, his barber appears to be the Vincent van Gogh of buzz-cutting assassins.

But still, by the end of the week, regrown hair is going to blanket the shaven strips, leaving an uneven texture that makes the back side of his head looking like an apocalyptic globe.  

The aforementioned James Brown lyric was from a song named "Payback." 

Fitting, because this work of art promises to have repercussions by sunup.

 

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Brett's Email: gering.brett@gmail.com

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