Yao Ming is a cake.
No, that's not some obscure slang phrase the kids are using for NBA big men who are still beloved by their fans—although it probably should be. This is simply a reference to a massive wedding cake with an extremely large Yao Ming noggin that one Twitter user is sharing with the world.
It all begins with a tweet from ESPN's Darren Rovell, who makes reference to a stat that 65 percent of McDonald's customers order at the drive-thru (yes, this article may make you very hungry).
When you have something epic to share, though, you don't simply wait for a topical subject to come up. You present that tweet like a Blake Griffin slam dunk:
That, my friends, is how you do wedding cakes.
We are missing a couple of things here: vital details about this Yao cake and a bib big enough to tackle such a baked good.
The scant details on the wedding cake are provided in extra tweets from @Moustachio, along with a few pictures.
The two seem to be huge Houston Rockets fans, which is the "no duh" proclamation of the day. I simply have to know how they worked John Olerud into the vows and whether the groom wore a helmet along with his tux.
With a bunch of ingredients and some time in the oven, we have ourselves something as endearing as a Coco Crisp bobblehead and as terrifying as a Garbage Pail Kids costume. I am not sure if I want to shield my eyes from assured nightmares or grab a fork and a glass of milk. Feel free to help me out with the correct decision in the comments section below.
There are sure to be a great many Rockets fans who would love to have the former NBA center at their wedding. Seeing as Yao has not yet mastered omnipresence, baking a cake in his likeness will have to do.
Now, who wants another slice of Yao?
Hit me up on Twitter: Follow @gabezal
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!