Justin Bieber touches the Stanley Cup, North America explodes and the remaining survivors band together to fend off Belieber zombies in the resulting nuclear winter.
I might sell that idea to Michael Bay, but I cannot say that Bieber meeting Lord Stanley was my idea in the first place. That distinction belongs to the Chicago Blackhawks' marketing squad, which brought in the pop singer for a photo op with the Stanley Cup on Tuesday, July 9.
According to Sam Laird of Mashable, Blackhawks marketing director Pete Hassen was the first to send the image of Bieber and the Cup spending quality time.
As you can see, Bieber shed his Los Angeles Kings attire for the gig and gave the world a big, “We’re No. 1” hand gesture.
Based on the reaction from some sports fans, he might as well had made it official and went with another finger.
Indeed, touching the Cup is usually afforded only to those hockey players who have actually helped their team win the trophy—it’s their white whale—but fans appear to be the most outspoken about Bieber’s tactic.
Bieber standing on the Blackhawks logo was another NHL sacred cow slaughtered in the eyes of many hockey fans.
Hassen defended the organization’s decision to pose Bieber with the Stanley Cup, saying that the pop star opens doors to the next generation of Blackhawks fans.
Right or wrong, the fact is Bieber has touched the Stanley Cup, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
It will be hard to cope with for a few days, especially after seeing the driver of the bandwagon in L.A. Kings regalia in May, but like Daylight Savings Time and your weird coworker Pam, it’s one of those things we just have to live with.
Bieber touching the Cup has happened before, and it will probably happen again. I know it's hard, but fans must steel themselves, gather their families and rebuild. This isn't the end.
Some days you’re the Bieber, and some days you’re the mop bucket.