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Manny Being...Womanly?

LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 30:  Portrait of Manny Ramirez #99 of the Los Angeles Dodgers during batting practice before the game between the San Francisco Giants at Dodger Stadium on April 30, 2009 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
Pete McKeownAnalyst IMay 7, 2009

Manny? Really? I’m not going to sit here and lie to any of you, I ABSOLUTELY used to love Manny Ramirez.

He won two championships for the Red Sox, and, let’s be honest, his antics always entertained, as they were seemingly harmless and comedic acts done by a savant who could flat out hit a baseball.

It wasn’t until his final year with the Sox that I realized how much of a poison he could be. He was no longer the sheepish and goofy professional hitter. Yeah, he could still murder a baseball, but his immaturity and selfishness were the new emotions, and his act was killing the team.

He threw a senior citizen to the ground over tickets. He showed he could stop trying by looking at three straight against Rivera. Literally, just stared at three fastballs down the middle, not even a flinch.

Once he started straight up threatening the Sox with his unhappiness in Boston, I cut ties.

I fondly remember the good years, but Manny post-2007 is someone I am done with. Thanks for the memories, but I’m like that crazy gypsy in that Stephen King book who curses a guy to get Thinner. I wanted him to fail, to be shown for the child that he is.

Little did I realize that my curse would finally affect Manny.

I wished him to be lazier and more selfish than ever before. I was hoping that over the course of the season, he’d take off at least 50 games. I just didn’t expect it to happen all at once, for something like a banned substance.

He’s now tainted goods. One of them. Painted with the same ‘roid brush as Bonds, McGwire, Sosa or A-Rod.

In one way, it sucks, because it means he had to have done steroids in the Sox championship seasons, but that whole era of baseball has changed because it seems that anyone and everyone could have been using. I still love those titles, believe me, but I'm not shocked by any new name added to the list.

I just think it’s poetic justice that Manny is finally reaping what he sowed, though I figured it’d be something like his lack of respect for teammates, or getting caught smoking some LA medicinal marijuana in the outfield, but not performance enhancers.

The funniest aspect about the entire thing is the manner in which he was caught.

Manny took hCG, a female fertility drug that is a common substance used at the end of a steroid cycle to help your body produce testosterone again. Instead of owning up, he said it was something for personal use, alluding that it wouldn’t be steroids.

The only real way that hCG could help someone personally, is if they suffer severely from erectile dysfunction. You know it’s a bad situation when your out card is telling the word you can’t get it up.

It is unbelievable payback, and I think Manny could be the next Rafael Palmeiro. Not because of the steroids, but because Viagra may need a new pitchman. I mean, he’s now a walking punch line, only people are laughing at him.

Now he has to conform, or he’s out the door. Either way, I’m sitting here with a smile on my face, because he’s finally not in control just because he’s “gifted”. I wish karma worked this well all the time.

 

Check out this and other articles pertaining to Boston at Hub of Champions.

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