It looks like somebody just watched the Matt Damon thrill ride, We Bought a Zoo.
Pro Football Talk's Michael David Smith reports on a veritable menagerie budding in Darnell Dockett's backyard.
The star Arizona Cardinals defensive lineman has already procured a pet tiger and is browsing around for a monkey—at least that's what he offered in an interview with Mike Jurecki of Fox Sports 910 AM in Phoenix.
If you are wondering how big that baby tiger will get, here is the mom.
Dockett said he is trying to bring the tiger to practice but isn't quite sure how the organization will feel about having a cuddly ball of man-eater around the high-priced talent.
Little Buddy is 60 pounds and according to Dockett, "very chill, very playful." We will remember this when he becomes Big Buddy after putting on a few hundred more pounds.
Not satisfied with a big cat, the 32-year-old had his eye on a monkey, but the owner just wouldn't part with him.
Dockett also said he made an offer of $30,000 for a pet monkey, but the monkey’s current owner wouldn’t consider it.
“I didn’t buy the pet monkey,” he said. “The dude would not sell it. I offered him a price that the only other person who would offer him that much is probably Michael Jackson, rest in peace, but he wouldn’t even entertain my offer when it came to the monkey.”
Here is look at a very annoyed Skeeter, via Dockett's tweet.
By the look of things, I have an idea of who the owner might be.
Just give him the monkey, Ross!
But seriously, sell Dockett that monkey and do it quickly. From what Dockett offered in the interview, his ownership of a monkey would benefit every NFL fan, via Smith.
Could you picture that on game days? I’m coming to the game, I have my monkey with me, he has my jersey on. Think about it. After the game, the fans see me with the monkey, ticket sales go up, Dockett jersey sales go up. Why? Because they all want to see me with the monkey.
The cynics in the group might scoff at this image being anything more than dull. I would like to direct your attention to another athlete who once paraded around the house with his majestic beast, via The Independent.
Dockett is already one tiger ahead of the game.
If he gets his elusive monkey, there will be no stopping him from adding a giraffe or an elephant. It's only a matter of time before his trips to take a bath will feature waddling penguins and a baby seal.
Sure, having anything bigger than a dog can yield ugly results, but I have all the confidence in the world in Dockett.
If you have a spare monkey just moping around the house, eating up all your Cheetos and drinking your beer, send them to the Cardinals star.
The man is building a zoo, and he needs all of our help.
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