This Is What a $13,000 Basketball Looks Like

Gabe Zaldivar@gabezalPop Culture Lead WriterAugust 28, 2013

Photo Credit: The Hollywood Reporter
Photo Credit: The Hollywood Reporter

Do you like basketball? How about paying exorbitant prices for simple objects you can get for far less? Regardless, this is a story that is going to have you skipping down the street laughing like an idiot.

The Hollywood Reporter reports that the Beverly Hills boutique Hermes is celebrating a grand opening of its newly remodeled store by selling a basketball. Now, it's not just any basketball, because it also comes with a $12,900 price tag. 

Like the Sistine Chapel or Michelangelo's David, you really have to see this thing to truly appreciate it.

(Photo Credit: The Hollywood Reporter)

Yup, that's a ball.  

Robert Chavez—Hermes' CEO and my new favorite human being—insists that, "It can certainly be used for play." With that, we encourage you to play frisbee with that fine piece of art you have hanging around the house. Hell, why not golf with that family antique that's been passed down through the generations. 

My favorite part of the report, however, might be, "It's totally over-the-top—the average Spalding one used by NBA players costs only $169.95." Can we refrain from using "only" right next to anything more than 100 bucks for a basketball?

Am I the only one perfectly fine with the synthetic leather basketball that costs $20 from Target? Anyway, we move on. 

It seems there are only two of these blue balls (easy, folks) in existence: 

Only two have been produced at the special-orders atelier in Paris under the creative direction of Pierre-Alexis Dumas.

The fashion brand, which has turned out footballs and soccer balls in the past, eschewed its signature orange in favor of a California-chic, cool blue for the bull calfskin ball that's made using the same hand-stitched technique as Hermes' coveted Birkin bags.

By now you should really be sold. I mean, they usually make them that are orange, but this is blue. Sold! Forget sending your kids to college, because you simply must have this basketball. 

Our pal Chavez is the best closer in the business, because he sells us with the following: "It represents the sky, the ocean and all the beautiful pools that are a way of life in L.A. and Southern California."

No, it's blue. Don't try to turn that ball into a spherical representation of all that is wonderful in this world, because it will just sit in my house as a reminder that I have no business making decisions with money. 

What we have here is a company that made a very nice basketball and decided to stick a price so high on it that the outrageous cost becomes the marketable feature. That way you can have some idiot who can say he bought a ball for $13,000, and it's in the back of his sports car, right next to his unbelievably small dog, if you want to see it. 

And it won't make you a better player, because this is how you will be forced to play. 

Really for this price, the ball better be a basketball-shaped cow that milks itself and even plays Pop-A-Shot with me. Even then it would be a tad overpriced. 

Chavez continues, "The leather is sturdy, and why not make such a unique item come to life on the court?"

OK, if it's going to come to life on the court, you are selling far too low. Now all we need is a "Happy Fun Ball"-type commercial and the entire world may want one. 

Now $12,900 might be just a tad more than you were looking to spend on a rock to use in your weekend pickup games, but this one represents pools, so dig deep into your savings and go get one. 


Hit me up on Twitter. I'll be the annoyed one