Resting comfortably next to religion and politics, what you put on your hot dog remains one of the most polarizing things anyone can discuss.
Sadly, we must have that discussion today, as word comes that the Detroit Tigers have dismissed their singing hot dog vendor because he chided fans who would dare put ketchup on their hot dog.
Paul's report states there is no specific cause given from concession vendor Sportservice, but he has sources who believe they know the reason:
There are rumblings the real reason was ketchup — or Marcuse’s disdain for it. Marcuse, at the ballpark and on Twitter, has been a strong crusader for only putting mustard on a frank. And some fans thought he got combative when they asked for ketchup. There were complaints filed.
Asked whether condiments actually were behind his dismissal, Marcuse was vague.
“It was general employee conduct,” he said, relaying the reason he was given. “I’ve vended the same way for the past 15 years, so there’s nothing new to any of this.”
To put a face to such villainy, we present a video of the hot dog man in action:
Full disclosure: I'm a big ketchup guy. I put it on my burgers, eggs, hot dogs, corn dogs and anything else I can think of that might make you mad.
Look, it's 2013, and people are putting fries on burgers. It's time to get off our high horses and accept that some people just like their dogs with ketchup. It's amazing that in this day and age we can still be so intolerant to one another.
It makes me sad.
And really, the lot of you who hate mustard just end up looking like a grumpy Dirty Harry (video NSFW):
With that said, Marcuse does say he has been working in much the same manner for 15 years. As Ted Berg of For the Win notes, selling hot dogs during the summer is hardly the easiest job in the world. It's hot, boring and monotonous, unless you think outside the box and bring some spice to the job.
Perhaps Marcuse gave fans a lighthearted hard time about asking for ketchup. There's nothing wrong with that.
However, if he stepped across the line and made them feel like they couldn't eat their collection of pig parts in tube form like a civilized human being, he should be taken to task.
As a brief aside to this story, we should warn that it's never a good look to have two shticks. You can be the singing guy or the mustard curmudgeon, but not both.
Fine, I will listen to you regale us with an operatic "Hot dog!" but then I want my overpriced hot dog and extra packets of ketchup, and I want them now.
When it's all said and done, we are all just people. Some of us put ketchup on hot dogs, and some of us eat our candy bars with a fork and knife.
At some point, we just have to accept and move on. Only then can we concentrate on things that truly matter, like figuring out why everyone freaks out over beach balls at baseball games.
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