WWE Worst of the Week: Vickie Guerrero, the Big Show and More
"You will never, ever forget the name of... El Torito."
It was an interesting week in WWE. Stephanie McMahon and Triple H made out, CM Punk failed to come up with anything creative for a match stipulation and Raw had more filler than was thought to be humanly possible.
With eight days to go, WWE has three confirmed matches for Hell in a Cell. Expect to see three added next week and an additional one or two brought on as "bonus" matches.
This most likely means we'll get Fandango vs. Khali in a main-event rematch. This time they'll dance!
Here we reminisce and take a look back at the missteps in logic and the most embarrassing moments all the way from Raw to SmackDown during the week.
Time for another edition of WWE Worst of the Week.
No. 5: Vickie's Master Plan
Vickie Guerrero sure loves a good cackle. On SmackDown, she cooked one up for Daniel Bryan.
She wanted to stick it to him for messing with her by playing The Big Show's entrance theme. It was time to get even.
As the acting GM, she could have done anything.
What would it be—Bryan has to fight Randy Orton with a live weasel down his trunks? How about a Punjabi Prison match against The Great Khali, Hornswoggle and El Torito? Or the dreaded, fair fight of him and The Tag Team Champions vs. The Shield?
She went with the fair fight. The one we've seen many times. Daniel Bryan has now taken on The Shield—in one form or another—23 times this year. We've seen him fight them in handicap and gauntlet matches.
Was her announcement really that evil?
Was it really deserving of such an obnoxious laugh?
It was like on The Power Rangers when Rita Repulsa thought she had this genius plan of sending one monster to take on the Rangers when she could have sent thousands! Then she'd laugh maniacally as if there was no way her plan could backfire.
The way things are going on WWE lately with all of the cartoonish nonsense, we are drifting dangerously into Ranger territory (you know, Sin Cara would make a fine blue ranger).
It's morphin' time!
No. 4: No Brie for Me Please
On Raw, Brie Bella finally got what she had coming to her from Tamina.
Remember all the times over the past couple of years when Brie was cruel to every Diva in the division who wasn't her twin?
Remember when she continually made fun of Natalya for being fat?
Remember when Brie apologized for all of that and learned the error of her ways?
Probably not, because that last part didn't happen. We're merely supposed to like Brie because of her relationship with Daniel Bryan. There was no face turn, just an appearance on a terribly contrived reality TV show.
Also, on Raw we had to watch Brie cower in fear to Randy Orton in the trainers room while she was with her sister. Shouldn't these professionally trained fighters (and the trainer and the cameraman) at least have been able to stand up to Orton if only until Bryan arrived?
It's degrading to the women's division to have its No. 1 contender fear for her life when a male wrestler has her cornered. Even if that guy is Randy Orton, she should have shown some bravery.
And WWE is actually surprised that people aren't cheering for Brie?
No. 3: They Do Know What No DQ Means Right?
No-disqualification tag matches make no sense.
WWE does this often, but it's time for a rant on it. Fans have often wondered why the heels don't just bring a cattle prod, a pocket knife or a live weasel into the upcoming brawl. There are no rules, so they can't get disqualified.
So why do the heels or faces bother tagging their partner into the match?
When your partner is getting beat up, wouldn't the smart thing to do be to just enter the match anyway and hit your opponent from behind? Why would you just wait there with your arm stretched out as if the ring ropes were some sort of force field?
At least The Shield should have taken advantage of this situation right? Instead, Dean Ambrose just sat outside for 90 percent of the match, when he could have interfered at any time he wanted to or even declared himself as a member of the team and tagged in.
Instead, they all played by the rules like idiots until the babyfaces were the ones who cheated with the homeless Big Show having to do their dirty work for them.
No. 2: The Big Smile Returns
The Big Show tried to explain that it was okay to be in the middle of the ring on SmackDown because he had a ticket. I didn't know that was the rules.
Big Show is the worst. The absolute worst.
He knocked out Daniel Bryan multiple times, ruined the last pay-per-view main event and nearly killed a 67-year-old man for a $5 footlong at Subway. He threw away all of his morals and dignity, he cried repeatedly, and now we're supposed to like him.
Why? Because he smiles.
See, kids, Big Show really isn't that bad of a guy. You do whatever you want, as long as you follow it all up by punching your boss in the face and then having a chuckle about it.
Big Show smiling just grinds my gears, and I've never quite understood why. It just feels so forced and over the top, and he never stops. He undercuts every heel, because he's just this big giant goof having a good time instead of being engaged in his match.
Now that cheeseball is back, and he is pushed as more of a threat than Daniel Bryan, the man who defeated John Cena cleanly.
Lastly, if Show has no money and no job, how does he repeatedly fly across the country and buy tickets to WWE events?
No. 1: This Is Bull
Some people may enjoy watching a little person wearing a bull costume ram a senior citizen in the butt.
The other 99 percent of the human population may not find that to be their particular brand of entertainment.
Los Matadores continued on their overexposed ways by defeating 3MB for the fourth time in their five-match career on Raw. On SmackDown, they kicked things off into high gear for their upcoming feud with The Real Americans.
The group, however, sunk to a new low. They've already jumped the shark. Once you shove your head up a man's butt, there's really nowhere else to go. Might as well just release them now!
There's really not much more to say about this matter. Just look at the photo, reflect on your life, and have a good cry.
Time to kick out.
Well, that's all for this week. Agree? Disagree? What was your worst moment of the week? Sound off below, and thanks for reading!
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