Jeffrey Loria Could Have Paid for a Bad Marlins Team with Painting He Just Sold

Gabe Zaldivar@gabezalPop Culture Lead WriterNovember 7, 2013

Jeffrey Loria could have nearly covered the 2013 Miami Marlins payroll with the painting he just sold.   

Yes, this is essentially your "Life is pretty damn good for Loria" update of the day, and yes, Marlins fans are better off eating spoiled food because it will be better for the digestion than this story. (h/t Yahoo! Sports) reports that an Alberto Giacometti painting done in 1954 was eventually sold for $32.6 million by, you guessed it, Loria. 

Things aren't all teddy bears and rainbows, because the piece had an estimated value of $30-50 million, so the final sale was on the low end of the estimate. 

Still, something tells me Loria is off somewhere smiling with a lovely and menacing grin.  

The best, or worst depending on team loyalties, aspect of the story comes when you remember what the 2013 payroll was for the mighty Marlins. 

As Yahoo! Sports Mark Townsend reports, it hovered at about $39 million, which is about the right amount for a team that jettisoned off most of its big-name talent

MIAMI, FL - SEPTEMBER 24: Fans watch as the Philadelphia Phillies play against the Miami Marlins at Marlins Park on September 24, 2013 in Miami, Florida. The Phillies defeated the Marlins 2-1 to give Miami 100 losses for the season. (Photo by Marc Serota/
Marc Serota/Getty Images

Broward Palm Beach New Times' Chris Joseph feels your pain: "The problem with all this is, of course, that one painting by an expressionist Swiss artist who's been dead since 1966 costs slightly less than the entire roster of his professional baseball team."

This is the same owner who reportedly decided to take over control of baseball decisions during the season, via The Miami Herald

He is also the genius that flirted with the idea of moving the franchise enough to cause the city to build the team a fancy new stadium that features plenty of empty seats. 

In an April Businessweek article, Marlins President, David Samson, was quoted as saying, "We let it bottom out. We pretended we were going to move."

But hey, at least you have an aquarium behind home. 

Now the Fish have Giancarlo Stanton, Jose Fernandez and absolutely no confidence in retaining them as they move into their prime years. 

What Marlins faithful can count on is Loria will continue making money, even in the offseason and from ways you hadn't previously considered, and it will somehow find a way to make baseball fans mad. 

You really have to admire how amazing Loria is at playing the part of MLB supervillain. It's almost as if there is some secret lair under that very audacious stadium they have in Miami. 

Someone get the Justice League to investigate. 


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