Philly Billboard Taunts Jerry Jones with Lame Cliche

Timothy RappFeatured ColumnistDecember 27, 2013

SAN DIEGO, CA - SEPTEMBER 29:  Dallas Cowboys owner, president and general manager Jerry Jones looks on prior to the start of the game against the San Diego Chargers at Qualcomm Stadium on September 29, 2013 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)
Jeff Gross/Getty Images

Anybody who has spent any time around Philadelphia fans can tell you a few things about them. Generally speaking, they are passionate, at times a little crazy and normally pretty clever and biting when they mock an opponent (or one of their own players or coaches not living up to expectations).

Trust me, I know—I've been a Philadelphia sports fan from birth and have spent my entire adult life living in Philadelphia.

So when I saw that 97.5 The Fanatic—an ESPN-affiliated sports-talk radio station in Philly—had put up a billboard taunting Jerry Jones, I was pretty excited to see what they had come up with. The Dallas Cowboys owner is the butt of more than a few jokes in Philly, so surely this burn would be a good one.

Incorrect. The radio station kept their kid gloves on with this one, folks. Here's the billboard, via the 97.5 The Fanatic's Twitter feed:

I don't know if I could do better, 97.5, but I'm pretty sure you could have. Of all the sanitary, boring cliches you could have thrown out there, you went with tee times?

If Jones is reading this, it's probably on a private helicopter as he flies to the golf course he paid for and designed to get in a quick back nine before he takes a few meetings. This insult would be like telling Bill Gates to enjoy his giant mansion or yacht because Apple had a better quarter.

There is so much material to work with.

  • Hey Jerry, The Eagles will wipe out the Cowboys, just not your glasses.
  • Hey Jerry, Your whole organization needs a face lift.
  • Hey Jerry, You can always fire the GM.
  • Hey Jerry, There's always Nick Saban. 
  • Hey Jerry, Jerry World will be closed in January. Again.
  • Hey Jerry, The third time won't be the charm.
  • Hey Jerry, Orton Hears a Boo. Actually, 80,000 boos.

Okay, okay, so some of those are corny too. But at least they're (somewhat) original. The key here is to cut just deep enough to add some fuel to the rivalry without, you know, being a classless jerk. Put another way, you don't want to be Cartman, but you sure as hell don't want to be Butters, either. 

Nov 10, 2013; New Orleans, LA, USA; Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones prior to a game against the New Orleans Saints at Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports
Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sport

In a game with so much at stake between traditional rivals, you've got to bring the ruckus. Generally speaking, Philly brings the ruckus and then some. 

But tee times?

Let's just say most Philly fans can—and will—do better.


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