The 10 Biggest MMA Beatdowns of 2013

Scott Harris@ScottHarrisMMAMMA Lead WriterJanuary 8, 2014

The 10 Biggest MMA Beatdowns of 2013

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    Getting tired of all these "Best of 2013" lists yet? You better not be.

    At least not until you've read this one, also known as the best one. Oh, you want some red meat, MMA fan? Enjoy the leaking of the humors, do you? Here, I've got your freakin' gore right here. What follows is a list of the top 10 beatdowns in MMA this year. 

    Follow me to the blackboard. As you can see, beatdowns are identified and ranked based on degree of brutality, caliber of opponent and sheer dominance. One-sidedness is an important characteristic of any beatdown, but back-and-forth fights aren't automatically disqualified. Sometimes, beating down a resistant opponent can actually make a beatdown more impressive.

    Got it? That's great. Parental discretion advised. Because there will be blood. Thank you so much.

Honorable Mentions

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    Hector Lombard vs. Nate Marquardt

    Marlon Moraes vs. Brandon Hempleman

    Gilbert Melendez vs. Diego Sanchez

    Justin Gaethje vs. Dan Lauzon


10. Cristiane 'Cyborg' Justino vs. Marloes Coenen

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    Division: Women's featherweight
    Event: Invicta FC 6
    Date: July 13
    Result: Cris "Cyborg" Justino def. Marloes Coenen by TKO, 4:02, Rd. 4

    Was Coenen a game opponent? Of course she was. She's not famous for nothing. She threw some flurries, even landed some. She enticed the Cyborg into her guard, even contained her there sometimes. 

    But there's a reason you don't enter into battle lightly with the Cyborg. She never stops hunting you. She is living tissue over metal endoskeleton. It's a trap, Marloes. Get out of there. You're walking into a trap!

    But the Dutchwoman didn't listen. For Justino, this one involved a more controlled, T-1000 brand of fury, but it was furious nonetheless. Coenen made the fight longer, but that didn't make it any closer. 

9. Brandon Thatch vs. Justin Edwards

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    Division: Welterweight
    Event: UFC Fight Night 27
    Date: August 28
    Result: Brandon Thatch def. Justin Edwards by TKO, 1:23, Rd. 1

    "Rukus" Thatch was a top prospect coming into his UFC debut. After his UFC debut, he was just a really dangerous UFC fighter. 

    This full Muay Thai blitzing of poor Justin Edwards was followed closely by an only slightly longer, slightly less vicious beatdown of Paulo Thiago, which saw the Brazilian special forces cop submit to strikes. Yeesh.

8. Bubba Jenkins vs. Mike Barreras

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    Division: Lightweight
    Event: Bellator 97
    Date: July 31
    Result: Bubba Jenkins def. Mike Barreras by TKO, 1:05, Rd. 2

    Another top prospect made his big league MMA debut with a bang in 2013. In this case, it was NCAA wrestling champion Bubba Jenkins.

    Jenkins tossed Barreras around the cage like a cartoon-show henchman. The fight ended in a flurry of ground-and-pound that had Barreras thrashing like a fish trying to leap out of a pool of poison.

    And if you need proof of the beating's viciousness, look no further than Barreras' post-fight face

7. Donald Cerrone vs. Evan Dunham

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    Division: Lightweight
    Event: UFC 167
    Date: November 16
    Result: Donald Cerrone def. Evan Dunham by submission (triangle choke), 3:49, Rd. 2

    Cerrone, who later revealed he would have retired had he lost, was one step ahead of Dunham throughout. He stonewalled each of Dunham's takedown attempts with surgical knees strikes, one of which felled the grappler and nearly brought a first-round stoppage.

    In the second, "Cowboy" looked at risk of losing momentum when the fight hit the mat, but he reversed a position to lock on a choke and take the submission win.  

6. Michael Chandler vs. David Rickels

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    Division: Lightweight
    Event: Bellator 97
    Date: July 31
    Result: Michael Chandler def. David Rickels by KO, 0:44, Rd. 1

    Chandler cemented his status as one of the sport's best lightweights and fastest-rising stars at Bellator 97. Rickels wasn't anyone's Anderson Silva, but he did blow through a formidable tournament field to get to Chandler. As reward, Chandler bumrushed him and beat him to the ground. It took only 44 seconds, but it was a beatdown that will forever be part of both fighters' highlight reels.

5. Rashad Evans vs. Chael Sonnen

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    Division: Light heavyweight
    Event: UFC 167
    Date: November 16
    Result: Rashad Evans def. Chael Sonnen by TKO, 4:05, Rd. 1

    This might take the cake as the least competitive beatdown on this list.

    Sonnen may have some good fights and stuff left in him, but he had neither fights nor stuff in him on this particular Saturday. Evans landed an easy takedown, Sonnen gave his back, and Evans double-fisted on the sides of Sonnen's head like a thunder god trying to invent the hourglass. 

    It certainly landed Evans back in the contender discussion after a string of stinker fights. As for Sonnen, well, meh. He's still just fine in the broadcast booth and serving as a reality show coach opposite Wanderlei Silva, the man he really wants to fight.

4. Nate Diaz vs. Gray Maynard

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    Division: Lightweight
    Event: The Ultimate Fighter 18 Finale
    Date: November 30
    Result: Nate Diaz def. Gray Maynard by TKO, 2:38, Rd. 1

    Maynard landed a takedown in the opening seconds. And then the rout was on.

    But Maynard, whom many had picked for his power wrestling game, wasn't in the driver's seat. Diaz popped up to his feet and, after a quick tussle along the fence, was suddenly and emphatically plying that volume boxing game, full bore and with both barrels.

    Maynard was a dead man standing at the end, and the referee saved him (perhaps too late) from an even worse beating (think Pat Curran and Joe Warren).  

    It was a return to form for Diaz, but might have signaled the end of the line, or at least the beginning of the end of the line, for Maynard.

3. Cain Velasquez vs. Junior dos Santos 3

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    Division: Heavyweight
    Event: UFC 166
    Date: October 19
    Result: Cain Velasquez def. Junior dos Santos, TKO, 1:51, Rd. 5

    Cain is the baddest man on the planet, and that's all there is to it. The proof was on Junior dos Santos' Stay Puft Marshmallow face following his rubber-match rogering at the hands of Velasquez, who slammed, punched and pounded dos Santos into several near-stoppages before finally getting the TKO with a final flourish of horror.

    I know one thing after watching this match: I wouldn't want to be the next opponent of either man.

2. Ryan Bader vs. Anthony Perosh

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    Division: Light heavyweight
    Event: UFC Fight Night 33
    Date: December 7
    Result: Ryan Bader def. Anthony Perosh by unanimous decision

    Sad Hippo.

    Perosh came into the fight as one of the UFC's feel-good stories of 2013. The journeyman from the Land Down Under was 41 years old but was looking like Ponce de Leon after a Knockout of the Night over Vinny Magalhaes a few months before. Hence the reason he got paired up with a young stud like Bader.

    Well, Bader didn't actually seem to care very much that Perosh was a feel-good story. He didn't seem to care much at all. In fact, he thoroughly disrespected the feel-good story, and in so doing made us all feel very bad. For three interminable rounds, Bader pulpified Perosh with standup and bone-grinding ground-and-pound.

    It was tough to take, and Perosh stood firmer than a lot of the viewers, further burnishing his fan-fave credentials even as he added back to the odometer whatever the Magalhaes fight removed.


1. Rosi Sexton vs. Jessica Andrade

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    Division: Women's bantamweight
    Event: UFC Fight Night 30
    Date: October 26
    Result: Jessica Andrade def. Rosi Sexton by unanimous decision

    Two of three judges scored this one 30-26, meaning they saw at least one 10-8 round. A 10-7 score, the white whale of MMA scoring, was not inconceivable, particularly in the virtually surreal second stanza.

    This one should have been stoppedby a ref, a corner member or Sexton herself. There was no good reason for this one to go the distance. When Dana "Never Leave it In the Hands of the Judges" White says the beatdown was too much, the beatdown was too doggone much.

    But enough speechifying. Notice I said "good" reason. Because, hey, what a beatdown, amiright? 

    It was an example of an opponent's courage—stubbornness, even—making a one-sided beatdown even worse. It's interesting that sometimes putting up a stiffer fight just means suffering a bigger beating, like the guy who tries to draw a charge on a driving LeBron James instead of just clearing out and conceding the dunk. There's a metaphor in there somewhere. 

    Sexton is 36 years old, undersized and overmatched in the UFC. That's just the way it is. Andrade, meanwhile, is trending upward. With this beating, she set a new division record (and nearly a UFC record) for most significant strikes landed in a contest (206).

    Yes, I'd say this is about as clear as it gets. 

    Scott Harris is a writer for Bleacher Report MMA. For more random listings and what not, find Scott on Twitter