Fact: The Chicago Bears drafted 19984450.6 WRs (in reality three, plus one undrafted free agent) this year to address the need.
Fact: Even if you super-glued them all together to form one superhuman receiver named Juaquin Knoxkinderpeterman, they would not be as good as Plaxico Burress.
(Insert shooting or leg joke, or shooting in the leg joke here.)
Yes, I would like Plaxico Burress to be a Chicago Bear.
He can catch footballs.
He can run fast.
He can jump high.
He can make acrobatic plays.
He can push this team over the top.
Am I wrong to want this guy on my favorite football team despite his legal troubles?
The fact is, in a brilliant offseason by Jerry Angelo, this could be the icing on the cake. I believe the addition of Plax makes the Bears a lock for the NFC North and serious contenders for home field advantage.
While Burress would be an important piece of the puzzle, clearly there is someone else they should pursue as a two-for-one.
What will it take to land Plax?
Isn't it obvious? The Bears need to make a run at fellow Michigan State University Alum Mateen Cleaves.
During his rookie NBA season, he played in 78 games, averaging 5.4 points and 2.7 assists. Now that stat line may not strike fear in the hearts of men, but there is one statistic still left to consider.
Mateen has equal the number of NFL receptions as 86.7 percent of the current Chicago Bears receiving corps. How scary is that!
While Cleaves is playing professional basketball in Greece, it should be an easy buy out for his contract.
The Bears are only two players away from NFL glory.
JA needs to make this happen.