The 10 Stupidest Goal Celebrations
An Italian amateur player earned his 15 minutes of fame this week when he celebrated a goal by headbutting the dugout. When it smashed, he was sent off and crowned as the new King of Stupid Goal Celebrations.
The Riole Terme scorer leads our list of players who have commemorated their goals in a regrettable fashion...
The Riolo Terme Headbutt
When an amateur player scored a fairly unspectacular tap-in during Riolo Terme's clash with Ponticelli, he ran to the dugout and proceeded to smash his head straight through it.
There are no specific rules that state putting your own head through a sheet of plexiglass is a red card offence, but he was given his marching orders regardless.
Wayne Rooney's Swearing Outburst
Wayne Rooney has never been the sharpest tool in the box, a fact he proved in April 2011 when he celebrated a goal against West Ham by swearing several times into a Sky Sports camera.
The England striker was given a two-match ban for the incident, which meant he missed an FA Cup semi-final with Manchester City that the Red Devils lost, 1-0.
Temuri Ketsbaia's Hoarding Anger
When Newcastle's Georgian midfielder Temuri Ketsbaia scored against Bolton at St James' Park in 1998, he was inexplicably furious. He took his shirt off and threw it into the stands before attempting to take his boots off. Then, he blew off some steam by kicking seven shades out of the McDonald's and Adidas advertising hoardings behind the goal.
This is more terrifying than stupid, but it still qualifies for this list.
Arjen Robben's Powerslide
Arjen Robben scored both goals in Bayern Munich's 2-0 win over Eintracht Braunschweig in November 2013.
The Dutchman attempted to celebrate the opener by sliding along on his knees, but a frozen pitch meant he ended up with holes in his socks—and a damaged ego.
Robbie Simpson's Faceplant
Arjen Robben wasn't the first person to poorly execute a knee slide.
When he scored against Sheffield Wednesday in December 2008, Coventry's Robbie Simpson got a little too much traction on his knees and ended up with a mouth full of grass.
Hans-Jorg Butt's Penalty Error
Everybody loves it when a goalkeeper scores, and Hans-Jorg Butt's penalty against Schalke is no exception.
However, the German—who managed 26 Bundesliga goals—took so long getting back to his own goal that Schalke lobbed him from kick off.
Presumably, at some point during the Leverkusen goalkeeper's run he signalled to the referee that he was ready for play to start again, but was punished for his hubris.
Khalid Askri's Premature Celebration
Another keeper whose conceit got the better of him was Khalid Askri of Moroccan side FAR Rabat.
During a shootout, Askri was so pleased with himself for stopping a spot kick that he turned his back on the ball as it crept over the line anyway.
The Iranian "Bum Grab"
In October 2011, Persepolis players Mohammad Nosrati and Sheys Rezaei landed themselves in hot water when Nosrati gave Rezaei's bum a squeeze during a goal celebration.
The apparently harmless gesture was deemed "immoral," and the pair were banned from entering any football stadium in the country. Incredibly, they were also subjected to public lashings and prison time.
Paolo Di Canio's Fascism
During his second spell at Lazio between 2004 and 2006, Paolo Di Canio celebrated several of his goals by performing a fascist salute in the direction of some of the Biancazzurri’s notoriously right-wing fans.
Di Canio has made no secret of his allegiance to fascism—he even has tattoos of eagles and Mussolini—but did his best to clear things up when he said “I am a fascist, not a racist,” because apparently there’s a difference.
Sepp Blatter said the gesture was enough to warrant a lifetime ban.
Robbie Fowler's White Line Crime
After scoring a penalty in a 1999 Merseyside derby, Fowler ran to the touchline and pretended to snort it in reaction to Everton fans who had accused him of drug use.
Hilariously, manager Gerard Houllier tried to claim it was a “Cameroonian grass eating celebration” taught to him by teammate Rigobert Song, but that didn’t stop the reds eventually fining him £60,000 for his silly goal reaction.