John Wall Wishes Washington Wizards Would Go Back to Bullets

Dan Favale@@danfavaleFeatured ColumnistMarch 20, 2014

Washington Wizards guard John Wall celebrates as the clock winds down during the second half of an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets on Saturday, March 15, 2014, in Washington. Wall scored a game high 33 points in the Wizards 101-94 victory over the Nets. (AP Photo/ Evan Vucci)
Evan Vucci/Associated Press

Harry Potter is not going to be happy with John Wall.

Per The Washington Post's Michael Lee, Wall is totally down with being a member of the Washington Wizards, but would start John Wall-ing around if they became the Washington Bullets again:

In the interest of honesty, Wall and I are not seeing eye-to-eye here.

More creative marketing and moniker opportunities exist in "Wizards" than they do "Bullets." Imagine what their mascot could look like if they ever decided to ditch G-Man, who is incidentally built like a bulletproof Smurf religiously following the Arnold Schwarzenegger diet.

Any mascot that can be adorned with wands, flamboyantly colored robes, facial hair of Albus Dumbledore proportions and pointy hats is a novel concept I'm on board with.

Fortunately for me, but unfortunately for Wall, it doesn't look like Washington will be denouncing the Wizards in favor of the Bullets anytime soon, or ever. Pro Basketball Talk's Dan Feldman explains why (spoiler: Gilbert Arenas is partially to blame):

In 1997, The Washington Bullets became the Washington Wizards (though not directly due to the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin, as many believe). Wizards, a corny nickname with no local significance, hasn’t really caught on among the city’s passionate basketball fans. But it won’t change back to Bullets for two main reasons:

1. Most fans have passively accepted Wizards as the team’s nickname.

2. Gilbert Arenas infamously brought a gun into the Wizards’ locker room, further connecting the team to the gun violence it was trying to disassociate itself from when it changed the nickname in the first place.

Unless Wall has a time machine that he can use to reverse the course of history, revisiting the Bullets handle is beyond unlikely. 

LOS ANGELES - DECEMBER 17:  Gilbert Arenas #0 of the Washington Wizards looks on against the Los Angeles Lakers during the game at Staples Center on December 17, 2004 in Los Angeles, California.  The Wizards won in overtime 120-116.  NOTE TO USER: User ex
Noah Graham/Getty Images

If he, along with Washington's fans, truly aren't feeling the Wizards persona, perhaps a compromise could eventually be reached. Acceptable name changes include, but are not limited to: Washington Water Bottles, Washington Wombats, Washington Whatchamacallits and Washington Wunderkinds.

As for Wall's dream of playing for the Bullets, well, it seems he's lowered his expectations considerably.

"One time in my career, I would like to wear some throwback jerseys, just one time, one time. I want to wear it one time," he said, per Lee. "I know it’s tough, but it’d be cool."

Throwback jerseys seems like a reasonable request, considering the Wizards have already embraced the Bullets color scheme.

So come on, Washington. Make throwback night happen.

Also, less Grover the Muppet-tinged, Incredible Hulk-looking mascots, more pointy-hat sporting representatives. Make that happen, too.