Updating College Football's 64 Dream Team Bracket to the Final 4
Before you sprint to the next slides, I behoove you to take note of the following: the results posted—as simulated by our original 64-team college football bracket—are not my picks. There seems to be some confusion on this front, so it’s important we get this squared away out of the gate.
Although many have (and will) sprint to the comment section with a fresh beer to throw in disgust, these results are not mine. Well, I suppose they’re mine, but they are in fact directly tied directly to the results of the actual college basketball postseason.
Once a seed in a particular region advances in the basketball realm, it advances in our hypothetical football bracket. Each team was seeded before the tournament began, and then March Madness decided the rest.
I don’t personally hate your team—at least any more than the next team. This is strictly business, an exercise to kill offseason hours and to help us understand what our own madness would be like.
With college basketball’s Final Four set, our college football extravaganza is also nearing its completion. Each region has now played its way through, which means it’s time to so some updating. Our four teams feature some expected brands along with, well, a few you might not have penciled in if you were filling out this particular bracket.
I suppose madness had to be heard at some point.
Disclaimer: This is for fun. But if your team lost, don't let that stop you from expressing your displeasure accordingly.
Calling the Connecticut basketball team a Cinderella would get you booed in most public gatherings. But Marshall—the football team represented by the Huskies in the East—certainly fits that Cinderella mold. And this year’s most surprising hypothetical performer is still alive for a national championship.
The Thundering Herd’s path to the Final Four is more or less Doc Holliday just sitting on top of a wrecking ball, crashing into SEC schools with casual joy. Marshall took out Georgia, Missouri and LSU and then sprinkled in a victory over Ohio State for good measure.
All in a hypothetical week’s work, I suppose.
While it may seem like a stretch, don’t sleep on this team. Led by quarterback Rakeem Cato, this offense is capable of making defenses look utterly helpless in their efforts. In fact, if college football were to have a Cinderella team, you won’t find many candidates better than this one.
That’s the good news. The bad news is on the next slide.
Marshall’s opponent in the semifinals is Auburn (and that’s the bad news for the Thundering Herd and pretty much everyone else that hears this news).
At this point, it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about real or hypothetical matchups. Just assume that Gus Malzahn will show up at your party, drink all your beer and then run 75 plays in your backyard while putting up roughly 145 points with your neighbor at quarterback.
It’s just what he does. (It’s also working quite well at the moment.)
Auburn—represented by Florida basketball—is the lone No. 1 seed to make it to the Final Four. The Tigers took out Cinderella hopeful Louisiana-Lafayette (Dayton in the basketball realm) to move on. Previously, Auburn beat Baylor by the final score of 1,256-1255 along with Kansas State and Middle Tennessee State. It really doesn’t matter what team they play, when they play or why they play.
The Tigers are the tournament favorite and an absolute monster of a matchup.
Let’s head to the other side of the bracket, shall we? And on this side, we will zero in on Oklahoma, thriving because of a lovely little run by Wisconsin basketball.
The Sooners’ path to the Final Four wasn’t exactly a cakewalk. After getting past Pitt and Fresno State—two worthy adversaries early on—Oklahoma took out Washington and then South Carolina, the top seed in the region.
Overall, however, the West played out pretty much how you might have expected it to. Oklahoma, one of the hottest teams at the end of the season, simply decided to take it one step further. Bob Stoops sees your “Big Game Bob” jokes, and raises you one poorly fitting Final Four cap and some hypothetical bragging rights.
Oklahoma’s opponent will be none other than Ole Miss, which is oh so fitting. Kentucky basketball—the world’s most incredible recruiting assembly line—benefits another team in the midst of a recruiting renaissance.
Ole Miss, of course, put together a dream recruiting class out of nowhere and saw many of these freshmen contribute out of the gate. Kentucky basketball pretty much does this yearly, so the connection between the two starts to come into focus.
The Rebels didn’t just crawl their way into the Final Four, either. They took out Northern Illinois in the opening round and then ripped off victories against Michigan State, Louisville and finally Alabama. Now that is earning it.
As for Alabama, well, maybe one of these years it will finally get to experience what it’s like to win a big game with the title on the line.
[sprints out of column]
[And by sprint, I mean jogs quickly for 120 feet before getting tired]