Jay Bilas is the best, a sentiment that is beyond question or conjecture. Now if you have the nerve to question such statements, you might want to sit back and watch his hilarious commencement speech to Queens University graduates first.
Chris Littmann of Sporting News spotted the following video wherein the ESPN analyst offers up a few sage words to graduates about to embark upon the world with diploma in hand.
Not content to send these proud alumni into the real world without some sort of wisdom, Bilas offers Young Jeezy quotes and safe porn-watching practice nuggets. It's 15 minutes long, but we really wish it were longer:
When one is tasked with digging through a treasure trove, the instinct is to grab all the goodies by the handful. Instead, we will just pick out a few of the finest gems:
- "I'm reminded by what the urban philosopher Young Jeezy once said: 'Real recognize real.' "
- "So since I can't remember anything from those three commencements, it really calmed my nerves about today, and it really set the bar at a low level, which I kinda like."
- Upon relaying that loved ones will never be more proud of the graduates, Bilas states, "This is a great time to ask for money."
- "Don't click on Internet porn at work."
We imagine the last quote was just to make sure everyone was still listening, but it's solid advice nonetheless.
One of the more poignant aspects of the speech might be Bilas' anecdote on his friend Kevin Eastman, and the wisdom gleaned from the current Los Angeles Clippers assistant coach. The specific advice was not to turn down any basketball opportunity, but the obvious sentiment is shared by just about anybody with a passion yet unfulfilled.
The Twittersphere came across the speech in time, sounding off as you might expect:
It's that time of year, when famous celebrities impart a modicum of words in tandem with their expansive experience. Some are notable while others quickly forgotten. The best part is that we all get to share in the truly legendary of those attempts.
While the Young Jeezy and Internet-habit tidbits will garner eyes, the rest of the speech will truly do the heavy lifting, giving much needed gravity to the day's web surfing.
You can have your silly cat videos, parodies and memes in a second, but Bilas just needed a moment to take us all to school.
Coming from a man with a wealth of experience, we might as well give Bilas the last word: "Make everything you do important."
Hit me up on Twitter: Follow @gabezal