Sports Lists

Athlete Instagrams We Really Didn't Need to See

Amber LeeSports Lists Lead WriterJune 13, 2014

Athlete Instagrams We Really Didn't Need to See

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    USA TODAY Sports

    Photo albums used to be a thing uninterested parties only saw when a friend or loved one pulled them from their dusty closet homewhich is something that is pretty hard to imagine these days. 

    Today, smartphones capable of capturing hundreds of quality digital photos are nearly as inseparable from modern man as the wallet or purse.

    And with the rise of social media apps that are capable of broadcasting those images to all your family members, friends, enemies and countless complete strangers, that old photo album is no longer relegated to those awkward two-bottle wine nights.

    The reality is that most people can document every aspect of their life and foist it upon their friends and acquaintances. What's so insane about this paradigm shift is that you and I suddenly have access to the metaphorical faded Polaroids of famous athletes.

    As a result, a world that was once opaque is now painfully and candidly thrust upon our lives—often via Instagram. And for all the awesomeness this access gives sports fans, sometimes it's a double-edged, oversharing, TMI sword.

    Here are some athlete Instagrams we really didn't need to see. 

Yasiel Puig, Los Angeles Dodgers

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    Instagram ID: puigyasiel

    Caption: None

    No hating on Dodgers slugger Yasiel Puig or his game here. But there is a little hating on Puig’s duckface. Save that stuff for 14-year-old girls. 

Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat

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    Instagram ID: dwyanewade

    Caption: "@itsgabrielleu"

    Considering this photo is tagged to his fiancé Gabrielle Union, it looks like Heat superstar Dwyane Wade accidentally posted a private photo publicly and figured it wasn’t worth the hassle of taking it down. Either way, we certainly didn’t need to see it. 

Evan Mathis, Philadelphia Eagles

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    Instagram ID: evanmathis69

    Caption: "Audit this."

    Call me crazy, but wizzing on a government building seems like something you do for yourself, not for your Instagram followers.

Carmelo Anthony, New York Knicks

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    Instagram ID: carmeloanthony

    Caption: None

    Not to be rude, but I think we can all agree that nobody likes Carmelo Anthony enough to make terrible selfies like this a hot commodity. 

Donte Stallworth, Former NFL Player

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    Instagram ID: dontestallworth

    Caption: "#they finally caught up to me"

    Former NFL wide receiver Donte Stallworth’s iPad selfie is short on clothes and long on ridiculous faces. This one is slightly less savory than his photo at the dentist

Mike Napoli, Boston Red Sox

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    Instagram ID: mikenapoli25

    Caption: "I’m getting one for sure"

    The Red Sox Mike Napoli posted two different photos of this naked little beast claiming he was “for sure” getting one. I have no idea if he actually got one, but I do know that thing will haunt my dreams for quite awhile.  

Kenny Britt, St. Louis Rams

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    Instagram ID: kennybritt18

    Caption: "14 years of hard work .."

    Rams wide receiver Kenny Britt apparently has corns on his toes. Remember how amazing the world was before we had visual confirmation of this situation?

Ty Lawson, Denver Nuggets

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    Instagram ID: tylawson3

    Caption: "That applesauce life... #crinnay #noyoucanthavenone#f'thebowliwantthewholething"

    Count Nuggets point guard Ty Lawson chugging down applesauce out of the jar while driving among the many things we never needed to see—what the what?! Might as well throw this photo oversharing his bathroom behavior onto the same pile. 

Aroldis Chapman, Cincinnati Reds

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    Instagram ID: _thecubanmissile54

    Caption: "#chapmanswagg Monthly cleaning"

    If you’re thinking that people these days can’t even go to the dentist without posting about it on social media, you’re obviously right. Reds pitcher Aroldis Chapman recently visited the dentist, and unfortunately we didn’t have to miss a moment. 

Darnell Dockett, Arizona Cardinals

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    Instagram ID: dockett90

    Caption: "First thing I do every morning!!! #trainingcamp"

    Frankly, given the extent to which Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett has overshared on social media in the past, this video of him brushing his teeth in his boxers is actually pretty tame by comparison. That doesn’t mean we wish we hadn’t seen it, though. 

Connor Barwin, Philadelphia Eagles

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    Instagram ID: connorbarwin98

    Caption: "#sexmuseum"

    Eagles linebacker Connor Barwin visited a sex museum and all he got was this freaky-deaky picture of himself next to disembodied T&A. And all we got was the image of him next to them burned into our retinas forever. 

Floyd Mayweather, Boxer

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    Instagram ID: floydmayweather

    Caption: "watching tv.. the four bottles of Cristal is sleep like _________."

    It’s not like this photo of Floyd Mayweather and four bottles of Cristal is shocking or anything; it’s just that everything he posts to Instagram is aimed at showing us how ridiculous rich he is. We get it, Floyd Money, you’ve got a lot of money. 

Antrel Rolle, New York Giants

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    Instagram ID: antrelrolle

    Caption: "I didn't know when I came to work this morning it was LOOK LIKE A FOOL DAY.... Did I not get the memo?? Well apparently only 2 guys did get the memo and to be honest they always have the memo if you catch my drift LMFAO!! As a professional athlete there are 2 things you should never ever ever ever ever (smokey voice) wear. #1 ONESIE #2 SOME BAGGY AS OLD SCHOOL UNDERWEAR 😂😂😂 Now for the challenging question.... Which NYGiants wore what?? Lol let the games begin!!!!!!"

    So apparently, someone on the Giants wears super saggy draws and someone else wears an adult male onesie. Nobody needs to know this stuff.

Nick Young, Los Angeles Lakers

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    Instagram ID: swaggyp1

    Caption: "It’s over"

    Lakers forward Nick Young posted this post-shave photo to Instagram, and it’s surprisingly gross. There’s just something really gross looking about hair sitting in a sink like that. 

Reggie Bush, Detroit Lions

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    Instagram ID: reggiebush

    Caption: "Battle wounds feel good! #hardwork #nodaysoff"

    Battle wounds may feel good to Lions running back Reggie Bush, but they don’t look particularly appealing to the rest of us. [Shudder.]

Sean Avery, Retired NHL

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    Instagram ID: imseanavery

    Caption: "Calvin made me do it…….. #mycalvins"

    Retired NHL agitator Sean Avery blames Calvin Klein for this photo. I blame his oversized ego. Although it doesn’t matter who’s at fault, it won’t make this any more pleasing to our collective eyeballs. 

Sam Barrington, Green Bay Packers

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    Instagram ID: sambarrington

    Caption: "Let’s get the weekend started."

    Packers linebacker Sam Barrington posts photos of Reese’s peanut butter cups constantly. We really didn’t need to see one of these, let alone a dozen. 

Ronda Rousey, MMA

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    Instagram ID: rondarousey 

    Caption: "Happy thanksgiving everybody ;)"

    Most of us see raw poultry on Thanksgiving, but it’s certainly not the best part of the holiday. While we appreciate that UFC fighter Ronda Rousey posed the birds in a cute little armbar, it doesn’t really make the photo much more enjoyable than if she hadn’t. 

Josh Cribbs, NFL Free Agent

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    Instagram ID: joshcribbs16

    Caption: "Regram from my boy @bigscoop82. 'Quaid...start the reactor Quaid'"

    Honestly, why we didn’t need to see this one should really go without saying. 

Kam Chancellor, Seattle Seahawks

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    Instagram ID: bambamkam

    Caption: "I put that gator to sleep"

    Seahawks strong safety Kam Chancellor says he put that poor gator to sleep, but one man’s “put to sleep” is another man’s “senselessly killed.” 

James Harrison, NFL Free Agent

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    Instagram ID: jharrison9292

    Caption: "6 inch needle"

    NFL free-agent linebacker James Harrison spends a lot of time having 4-6 inch needles jabbed into his body. The photos are distressing, but the videos are much more jarring. If you’re afraid of needles, don’t click play. 

Paul Bissonnette, Phoenix Coyotes

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    Instagram ID: biznasty

    Caption: "Hot for sping/summer 2013. #WellandFashionWeek#GrowerNotAShower"

    As far as Instagrams go, we didn’t need to see this one from Coyotes agitator Paul Bissonnette. It was tough to decide between this one and this one, though. 

Wesley Woodyard, Tennesse Titans

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    Instagram ID: wooddro52

    Caption: "Happy 1st Mother's Day to @mrsvdoubleu love you babe!"

    It’s nice that Titans linebacker Wesley Woodyard posted a shoutout to his wife for her very first Mother’s Day as a mom, but was this really his only option? This is something that, if you insist on having done, is ideally kept in-house. 

LeBron James, Miami Heat

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    Instagram ID: kingjames

    Caption: "Somebody call 911. The weight room just got murdered! Lol. Off day training. #strivingforgreatness#focused"

    Heat superstar LeBron James is obviously in pretty great shape, and there’s nothing wrong with showing it off. That being said, the King’s pants are just a little too graphic in this instance. Personally, I could’ve also done without an update from his recent dentist visit. 

Adrian Clayborn, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

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    Instagram ID: ajaclay94

    Caption: "He’s a little shy! Likes his privacy!"

    Buccaneers defensive end Adrian Clayborn posts a lot of photos of his dogs on Instagram, and most of them are pretty adorable. This one, however, is one I think we could’ve all done without. 

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