Sports Lists

Would You Rather: Sports Edition

Laura DeptaFeatured ColumnistAugust 12, 2014

Would You Rather: Sports Edition

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    AP

    Today we present to you 10 sports scenarios, each involving a single choice. You must choose only one option—you can’t have both, and you can’t have neither. 

    Would you rather be on a team owned by Jerry Jones or Mark Cuban? Would you rather try to catch a greased-up pig or a dry Usain Bolt? Would you rather play mini golf with Rory McIlroy or go to the batting cages with Derek Jeter? 

    You could spend hours doing this, trust me. But if you want to focus just on sports...

    What would you rather do?

    Leave it for us in the comments.

Be Steve Bartman…

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    Steve Bartman, fair or not, is probably the most hated person in the world to Chicago Cubs fans. They’re not real big fans of goats either, but I digress. 

    Bartman (and a few other fans as well) attempted to catch a foul ball during an oh-so-rare Cubs playoff game in 2003. Cubs outfielder Moises Alou also attempted to make the catch—for what would’ve been the second out of the inning—but was unable to. 

    The Cubs went on to blow the 3-2 NLCS lead, and Bartman would become the biggest Chicago scapegoat since the actual billy goat.  

Or Scott Norwood?

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    Mike Powell/Getty Images

    If you’re unfamiliar with Scott Norwood, then you’re obviously not from Buffalo, N.Y. Allow me to fill you in. Norwood was the place-kicker for the Buffalo Bills from 1985-91. 

    He is also the architect of the infamous “wide right” incident that sealed the first of four straight Super Bowl losses for the Bills. 

    Had that game-ending field-goal attempt in January 1991 sailed through the uprights, history would’ve been profoundly and forever changed. The Bills would have a Super Bowl championship (maybe more). Jim Kelly, Andre Reed, Thurman Thomas and the gang all would’ve gotten their glory. 

    To add insult to injury, Super Bowl XXV was the only one of the four that the Bills had any real chance of winning. They got housed in the next three.

Have Joel Embiid on the Court…

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    Nick Laham/Getty Images

    Joel Embiid: Former Kansas Jayhawk, No. 3 overall pick in the 2014 NBA draft, rookie center for the Philadelphia 76ers, has drawn comparisons to Hakeem Olajuwon.

Or Joel Embiid on Social Media?

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    Joel Embiid: Twitter sensation

    Embiid first made non-basketball news when he flirtatiously tweeted Kim Kardashian without realizing she was married. He later apologized to her (again via Twitter) for the blunder.

    Then he moved on to cyber-courting Rihanna

    He has also tried to quit Twitter several times. Don’t do it, Joel!

Be a Great Player with a Trashed Legacy...

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    Seth Wenig/Associated Press

    Fact: Roger Clemens was one of the greatest pitchers in Major League Baseball history. 

    Yet despite two years of eligibility so far, he has not been elected to the Hall of Fame. In fact, he’s received less than 40 percent of the vote each year. And now that MLB has cut the eligibility to 10 years, it’s possible he will never be elected. 

    Popular opinion: Many people would describe Roger Clemens as “disgraced.”

Or a Good Player That Few Will Remember?

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    Associated Press

    Roy Smalley was an infielder who played in the major leagues for 13 years with four different teams from 1975-87. He was an All-Star one time and also finished 16th in the MVP voting that year (1979). 

    He was a career .257/.345/.395 hitter and compiled almost 1,500 career hits. 

    Smalley had a solid career, but it’s doubtful anyone but a diehard would remember him.

Drink a Vial of Knowshon Moreno Tears…

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    You all remember this, right? Denver Broncos running back Knowshon Moreno cried the biggest tears known to man during the national anthem preceding a 2013 game against the Kansas City Chiefs.

Or Listen to Stephen A. Smith's Ranting for Eight Hours Straight?

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    Rocky Widner/Getty Images

    You have no earplugs. You cannot turn it off. You must listen to this for eight hours straight. No breaks.

Have Johnny Manziel as a Teammate…

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    Duane Burleson/Associated Press

    Johnny Manziel is a good football player. He is also a Grade A distraction. I’m not sure if I’d want to deal with the media circus that surrounds the rookie quarterback everywhere he goes.

Or Yasiel Puig?

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    Jae C. Hong/Associated Press

    Then again, Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Yasiel Puig is a bit of a distraction himself. 

    He may not be quite the distraction that Manziel is anymore, but Puig also has a reputation of being a bit of a showboat and at times, a lackadaisical fielder.

Take a Punch from Mike Tyson…

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    MARK J. TERRILL/Associated Press

    Mike Tyson may be retired from professional boxing, and he may be nearing 50 years of age, but something tells me he could still pack a mean punch.

Or Have Alex Morgan Take Your Place?

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    Patrick Smith/Getty Images

    The caveat here is that not only does Alex Morgan, America's Sweetheart, have to take a punch from Mike Tyson, but you have to watch it happen. And you have to know that you did it to her.

Try to Tackle Marshawn Lynch…

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    Marshawn Lynch is one of the most elusive backs in the NFL. 

    According to Football Outsiders, Lynch led the league in both total broken tackles and broken tackles by percentage of touches in 2013.

Or Hit a Clayton Kershaw Curveball?

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    Then again, you want to talk about elusive? Sure, professional hitters can maybe, sometimes connect with a nasty Kershaw curve (maybe, sometimes), but could you?

Be Robert Horry...

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    Robert Horry has seven NBA championship rings. That’s more than Michael Jordan, if you’re counting. He has also been responsible for some pretty dramatic playoff moments.   

    He is not, however, in the Hall of Fame—although his possible induction at some point is the source of much debate.

Or Charles Barkley?

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    Sam Forencich/Getty Images

    Charles Barkley, on the other hand, has achieved a level of individual success that’s hard to beat. He played in 11 All-Star Games, won an NBA MVP and is a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame. 

    No rings, though.

Join an NHL Line Brawl…

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    This one is pretty self-explanatory. You willingly throw yourself into a pre-orchestrated brawl with a bunch of professional hockey players. Sound fun?

Or Try to Score in a Game of Calcio Fiorentino?

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    Apparently there is a game in Italy called Calcio Fiorentino that is essentially a football-rugby hybrid. Or maybe it’s a rugby-street-fighting hybrid; I’m not sure.

    Basically it’s just a bunch of guys beating each other up and trying to stop the potential goal scorer by “any means necessary,” according to Deadspin.  

Get Tackled Full Speed by Jadeveon Clowney…

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    For a few excruciating seconds, you can feel the way I imagine Vincent Smith felt on the hit that made Jadeveon Clowney famous.

    You’d get to wear pads, although I’m not sure that would help much.

Or Take a Ronaldo Free-Kick to the Face

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    Armando Franca/Associated Press

    Or, you can form the free-kick wall by yourself, with a guarantee that a bullet from Ronaldo will, in fact, hit you in the face. 

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