Matthew McConaughey may fear the reaper, taxes and the flat circle of life, but he is not afraid of the fanny pack.
The Texas-born actor showed up at Fenway Park sporting a stylish piece of waist-mounted storage on Sunday and soon found himself deep in conversation with CSN sports reporter Julia Morales on the practical merits of fanny packs.
Big League Stew’s David Brown reports that McConaughey was in Massachusetts filming the movie Sea of Trees when he decided to watch the Houston Astros face off against the Boston Red Sox with his son.
The fanny talk began after Morales sat down with the actor and noticed the fashion-forward pouch lashed to his waist.
“OK, you’re wearing a fanny pack,” Morales said. “People didn’t believe me...that these were coming back in style. But you’re saying they never left.”
“I’m not afraid of the fanny pack,” McConaughey said. “You gotta kind of put it on the side to make it look a little, not as nerdy. But still, practicality wins out. I’ve got so much gear in here that I don’t want in my pockets. I’m not afraid of the fanny pack.”
Fearing the fanny pack is like fearing rain or census-takers. You can’t hide from the inevitable.
The nylon hip pack is slowly working its way back into vogue. Any respectable college tailgate you attend across this great land of ours will feature herds of undergrads staggering about with easy-to-access pouches on their waists.
Fanny packs are Portable On Demand for forgetful hoarders. You carry so much and lose so little with the fanny pack—unless you lose the fanny pack, in which case an abrupt and important reassessment of your entire existence is in order.
In any case, McConaughey supports the pack, and his coming out as a pro-fanny supporter gives courage to the legions of embattled souls weary of fishing gummy phones out of stubborn blue jeans.
Embrace the fanny pack. It’d be a lot cooler if you did.
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