This week started pretty normal for me. I planned on putting 40 hours in at the nursing home, I lost my weekly round of mini-golf by five strokes, our softball team lost last night, 26-24, after scoring 20 runs in the first inning, and I'm readying to attend a traditional May wedding this weekend.
Mine.
Four months has turned into four days, something that never seemed possible, and I now find myself in cold-feet mode as I weigh the good and the bad of turning Mandy Heldman into Mandy Fuhrman.
The good far outweighs the bad, which is why I asked her to marry me in the first place, but there is one thing that scares me.
Mandy hates sports.
A few examples:
In 2006, Mandy went on her high school Senior Class Trip, which included a Minnesota Twins game at the Metrodome against the Boston Red Sox.
The ’06 class brought their caps and jerseys, and Mandy brought her knitting. While she was knitting, the Twins turned a triple play…A TRIPLE FREAKING PLAY…and she never knew it happened.
“Everyone was yelling so loud, and it was hard to concentrate on my knitting.”
When Mandy and I were driving in the Twin Cities one weekend, I spotted a sign with AL MVP Justin Morneau. Doing what I now realize as the most idiotic, demeaning thing I could do, I asked Mandy, “Hey, do you know who is up on that billboard?”
“Mark McGwire?”
In 2007, Mandy and I went to a Twins game with some friends against the Toronto Blue Jays. We had won a Twins promotion and had seats behind home plate…BEHIND HOME FREAKING PLATE…and we were pumped.
My friends and I brought our caps and jerseys, and Mandy brought Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Of course, Mandy was leaning her head on my shoulder as she read, so everyone knew that she was with me.
I was constantly jeered and heckled from behind as, “Hey, Harry Potter’s friend! Must be a pretty good book! Do you have to work hard for her attention?”
The Twins were down by six runs, and made a huge comeback in the eighth and ninth innings, sending the game to extras…where they eventually lost.
As we exited the stadium amidst angry-that-they-had-lost-a-thriller fans, Mandy asked, loudly, “So, who won?”
In 2008, Mandy and I were apartment shopping in the cities for when we get married, with later plans to go to Opening Day against the Los Angeles Angels.
As nine inches of snow was dumped on the Twin Cities—with twelve blocks to the Metrodome—Mandy became wet, cold, and cranky.
Not because she was wet and cold, mind you…but because her knitting was getting wet. (See above picture, and you can see she is carrying it.)
As she knitted a scarf so she could stay warm when the game was over, the Twins won a nail-biter against Torii Hunter and the Angels.
She refers to Johnny Damon as the man with the “best butt in baseball.” She hates the fact that I haven’t washed my softball pants in three years. She categorizes all sports as boring, and all they do is take my attention away from her.
As I reminisce, I find my feet getting colder and colder. But the more I think, the more I realize that her love for me outweighs her hatred for sports.
Why would she have gone to the games with me in the first place? So what if she brings Scattegories to my dodgeball tournaments?
As she walks down the aisle on Saturday, I will not see a sports-hating harpie who sees last-day-division-clinching and unbreakable-records-being-broken events equal to reality TV. I will see a woman whose love for me is stronger than her hatred for sports.
And that is saying a lot.
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about 1 month ago
Wow, man. Good luck!
Zander's girl isn't a sports' fan either. Maybe he has some words of wisdom for you.
I couldn't imagine if my wife wasn't a sports' fan. People wonder how we make it because she is a Yankee fan (a real one from the days of Dave Winfield, not an, "Oh my god, Derek Jeter is so cute" one) and I am a Met fan. I tell them that it is better than her not liking baseball at all.
She has adopted my teams in other sports. She watches the Giants with me during football season and is tolerant of me tuning into the other games.
She stays up late and watches the Spurs with me and gets really into the playoffs. She has seen the Spurs with me in four different cities, including in San Antonio on Easter Sunday.
She played hockey with me in college and has gone to Rangers' games with me as well as minor league hockey games.
I hope it works out for you dude. Frankly I hope the people who bring books or knitting to baseball games get hit with a foul ball, but I'll exclude your lady from that.
about 1 month ago
Great article.
i've been married to a woman for two years now (we've been together for 6) that tolerates my sports addiction. she kind of gets into the games but she doesn't like basketball because she hates "how someone can win by just one point. why don't they just pass the ball around until the last minute."
cute isn't she?
she thinks baseball is too slow and doesn't really understand it.
football is her game and by "her game" i mean the one she tolerates the most. she puts up with my rabid LSU fandom and autumn weekends that are swallowed by preparing to tailgate, tailgating, going to the game, and cleaning up and recovering from tailgating and going to the game.
so i wouldn't classify her as a "fan" but she definitely doesn't hate it.
It sounds like your fiancee tolerates your habit but it doesn't sound like she hates it. if she hated it, she wouldn't be there with you (which you stated at the end of your article) so while you didn't find a sports fan to share your life with, you still found a great woman.
when sports are on, mine can be found next to me on the sofa, playing electronic sudoku or making jewelry. but hey, it works for us.
about 1 month ago
Don't leave me hanging on the scarf, man! Was it long? Short? Striped? Solid? (Just kidding. I really enjoyed this article. Best of luck to you on your marriage!)
from about 1 month ago
I really wanna know. Are they up for sale, some sort of website, I have questions that need answers. And good article.
about 1 month ago
Great article! Good luck and make sure you always have two televisions in your apartment/house!
about 1 month ago
on the bright side, think of all the excuses you'll have to hang alone with the guys. "Hey honey, I'm going to Jon's to watch football. See you later." She surely won't want to come. Might work out all right.
about 1 month ago
also, establish right now that any game that is on, you get the big tv and she gets the one in the bedroom.
about 1 month ago
good article...good luck
about 1 month ago
Good luck, man. It's okay...there are worse things in the world. For example, women who LOVE sports but hate baseball because they think it's less exciting. That's the worst.
about 1 month ago
Another hint: Work opposite shifts. My wife works second as a nurse, which means it's pretty much sports, sports, sports four nights a week. Even allows me to write the tripe I post here!
Best of luck, Zeke. Marriage is a lot of work, but is also a lot of fun.
about 1 month ago
Man, you're only a year older than me, man. Glad you know that things'll be okay, and from a White Sox fan to a Twins fan, congratulations.
-Chris
P.S. I feel your pain: every time I go to a game with my mom, she brings a book.
about 1 month ago
Tell her you'll learn how to knit if she learns to like baseball... then you could make me a scarf!
about 1 month ago
I loved this article. The balance between spending time with your wife/girlfriend and sports is always difficult. What I would try to do is pick one sport and try to get her to at the least not mind it - work with her. That is what I did - I got my girlfriend to not hate watching Lakers games (she mostly likes to see what stars at at the game) and that has really helped.
about 1 month ago
Best of luck man
about 1 month ago
Best of luck friend.
My situation was similar to yours, but I kept taking her to Rangers game and converted her. She isn't a super fan, but she care's about the team and pays attention, if American Idol or The Bachlor is on TV.
Thank God for TiVo
about 1 month ago
Great article. My fiancee is a really big buckeye fan so I get a pass during football and basketball season. During hockey season she really doesn't mind because no body really puts hockey on tv and she really likes to go to live games. Baseball is the only sport that she complains about watching, but she really does like going to games. I really lucked out. Good luck on your marriage.
about 1 month ago
You need to take her to the Twins game on July 20! It's Stitch n' Pitch!
www.twinsbaseball.com/stitch
about 1 month ago
Man, am I lucky. I am sorry for you. But happy that you guys love each other so much. I am so lucky to not only have a girl that never takes her tv off of ESPN, but LOVES Arena Football as much as me.
about 1 month ago
Best of luck to you and your new bride. You should look into Stitch n Pitch! An event that combines the best of both worlds, baseball and knitting! I am a HUGE Red Sox fan and an obsessed knitter. My husband loves the Red Sox and obliges my knitting addiction. I recently dragged him to a SnP event at McCoy stadium, home of the Red Sox farm team, where he nicely sat in a section of 137 knitters/baseball fans. It was fantastic.
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