TNA: Total Nonstop Agony

The F-Bomb explains why it is so painful for him to watch any TNA programming.

by Fred Richani (Columnist)

14

1344 reads

Humor

June 20, 2008

Humor, Wrestling, Pro Wrestling, WWE, Kurt Angle, Batista, John Cena, Triple H, TNA Wrestling, Editorial, Undertaker

"T-N-A. We are wrestling."

That's what fans hear at the start of every Impact, courtesy of Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. I used to like TNA. In fact, I used to applaud them for their innovative ideas with the X-Division, and giving real wrestlers exposure such as Samoa Joe. However, that applause and praise disappeared after terrible booking.

I don't watch TNA Wrestling anymore. In fact, I have an extremely hard time watching wrestling in general, due to it being quite frankly...the same old s**t. If WWE's redundant booking wasn't bad enough, TNA within the last few years has become WWE-Lite. Kind of like WWE's bastard son.

The X-Division used to be a great showcase of wrestlers around the world with unique styles of wrestling. Fast forward to 2008, and you have the Love Guru and a Randy Savage impersonator feuding over the X-title. Sonjay Dutt and Jay Lethal are talented young superstars, which is a huge upside. Why TNA gave them horrendous gimmicks is beyond me.

Let's not forget about my personal favorite, Robert "Bobby" Roode. A couple years back, this guy had these awesome vignettes stating he was wrestling's hottest free agent. Indeed, the promos that followed gave fans the impression big things were to come for the former Team Canada member. WRONG!

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Since 2007, Roode has been in never-ending feuds with Traci Brooks, Booker T, and Eric Young. Any wins in those feuds? Nope. The rich guy gimmick became more about whining than actually living up to the pays to be Roode standard. Whatever that means. In essence, he became what all the TNA wrestlers are now—JUST ANOTHER GUY.

That is what all TNA wrestlers have become, meaning no one stands out. It means no one is better than the guy next to him. No one. That includes AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Black Machismo, Kaz, and dare I say, the World Champion Samoa Joe.

TNA once had a problem of having way too many ex-WCW/WWE wrestlers take up TV times and receive pushes over long-time, homegrown talents like Abyss and Christopher Daniels. TNA still has that problem, but the company's inability to set wrestlers apart is a bigger one.

If there is one thing WWE does right, it's protecting the big names like John Cena, Triple H, and The Undertaker. Whether fans like you or me agree with it or not, a wrestler who defeats one of these protected guys is likely to get an enormous rub. This also sets wrestlers apart. After all, the world champion has to come off far superior than say Joe Shmo the mid-carder.

TNA doesn't do that. TNA is a promotion where a young upstart such as Kaz, the artist formerly known as Frankie Kazarian, can get a HUGE victory over Christian Cage, and end up teaming with Shark Boy the Sea Jobber a few weeks later. It makes no sense. Samoa Joe can look like the champ, we all want him to be at Slammiversary, only to get owned verbally and/or physically by Team 3D and Booker T.

Another thing that annoys the heck out of me about TNA is that they push guys that haven't mattered in ten years. I do not care about a forty-seven year old Kevin Nash, who has two bad knees, a grayer beard that Santa, and is lazy. Voodoo Kin Mafia? Just what I want on my screen as opposed to the hip Motor City Machine Guns (NOT).

To some it up in an oversized nutshell, TNA has way too many inconsistencies in their booking and too many wrestlers I DON'T care about to keep me watching Impact and pay-per-views. I'm not saying they have bad wrestlers. They may have a better roster top to bottom than WWE, but if they book that roster as if Amy Winehouse was the head writer, the results will vary.

So until they get back to great wrestling, booking continuity, and less about ex-WCW/WWE wrestlers, watching TNA for me will be:

    Total Nonstop Agony

-Fred "The F-Bomb" Richani

Humor

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comments (14) write a comment »

  1. You're trying to earn my automatic pick of the day, Fred. Don't do that to the other writers on the site; it's just not fair. Haha, good article man.

    1. haha thanks chris.

  2. Eh I agree and disagree. In case you haven't noticed, they AREN'T pushing Nash towards anything but a mentor role--which is what he should be doing. Kurt has been putting over guys like Joe and AJ of late, which is what he should've been doing from the start.

    As for Kaz, I can understand why his push sort of deflated. He isn't good on the mic and a well rounded performer needs to have verbal skills to go with the mat-based ones. They're pushing the MCMG despite the fact that the guns are known to have a bit of an attitude.

    And Black Machismo? It's one of the better gimmicks going. Of course, they took it too far by making Shark Boy into Stone Cold, but still. And the X division is poor? What about Curry Man (Daniels), Little Petey Pump, MCMG, etc.? It's still a strong division, the only difference is that Styles and Joe, two guys who had a strangle hold on the division, are getting main event pushes now.

    Overall, TNA is doing better things, but just like any promotion (except Ring of Honor), they make mistakes. I agree about Robert Roode and hope they change up his push. But I feel they are doing a helluva job compared to where they were last year. They seem to slowly but surely be getting it.

    1. To add to Ryan's comment, TNA is getting it done in a world dominated by WWE. The fact that TNA is hanging with three different WWE brands is impressive.

      By the way, they no longer say "We Are Wrestling." It's now "Cross The Line."

    2. Thanks for the feedback. What I meant to say about Nash was that they are giving the guy a lot of TV time. I know it's supposedly a mentor role, but I personally do not feel he should get that much TV time. Especially at his age, you know.

    3. Should Ric Flair? Or Vince McMahon?

    4. Taker... HBK...

      let's not play the age game now lol

    5. Ya, but the difference is people care about HBK and Taker. They can put on great matches. And I already wrote about Vince taking up too much time. Honestly, they might be building up to Samoa Joe vs Nash. when is the last time anybody saw Kevin Nash in a remotely good match. I'm just saying, the guy is damaged goods who really hasn't put over anybody in his TNA tenure. X-Division? They looked like jokes with him. How about that time Chris Sabin was supposed to go over Nash? He gets injured...Hmmm. lol I can write a whole blog on Kevin Nash alone! And cmon, you cannot compare the entertainment value of a Ric flair promo to entertainment value of Kevin Nash, BG James, Kip James, Booker T, Team 3D, or ANY ex WWE/WCW superstar in TNA combined. and one more thing, Ric Flair has PUT OVER OTHER WRESTLERS via promos, matches, etc. Whens the last time Kevin Nash did that? By the way, as always, I appreciate all the feedback.

  3. Holy crap! Nash sure looks like he's getting old, if that pic is any judge.

    1. It is. He looks like a 7 foot Michael McDonald.

  4. i dont think TNA has a problem setting apart the wrestlers as much as WWE does. WWE is old and stale and TNA livens it up with these gimmicks. some are lame, but the wrestling is what matters and the wrestling is 20x better than anything WWE has produced since the attitude era

  5. I'm a Kevin Nash fan. However, I do think he should stop wrestling. Keep a manager role but please, stop wrestling. He looks so stiff doing it.

    Most of that article was completely correct the people in TNA are blurring together, however, I see no issue in employing ex-WWE and ex-WCW wrestlers, because personally I feel WWE robbed me of what good they could've done.

    Every time someone defected from WCW or ECW into WWE they got shit gimmicks, roles that didn;t fit and really just knocked down. I wanted to see them flourish. As for ex-WWE wrestlers, they got the same treatment.

    I could've cared less about Christian as Captain Charisma in WWE... but as the "Instant Classic" I'm a fan. I wish Rhino hadn't been the last ECW World Champ AND ECW TV Champ... I wish he could've defended those titles more... instead he gets stuck as WWE Hardcore Champ... which means what in relation? Now I'm cheering in hopes that he gets a bigger push in TNA than WWE ever gave him.

    Booker T, six-time WCW World Champion. (As far as I'm concerned the WWE World Championship is still the same belt.) He's WAY talented and needs to stay in the spotlight until he retires like his brother Stevie Ray. Which I believe TNA should bring back... Bring back Harlem Heat but instead call them Houston Heat since they're not from NY.

    1. I don't mind all ex-WWE guys. I too dig Christian, Rhino, and Booker T. There have been guys in the past that have gotten unnecessary pushes like Andrew "Test" Martin, Black Reign/Goldust, Voodoo Kin Mafia, etc. Nowadays, I still don't watch much TNA. For everything good they do (Knockouts division), they negate that with terrible booking (Sting-Nash-Joe storyline) and of course, obnoxiously annoying announcing (Mike Tenay and Don West). Total Nonstop Agony indeed. I'm hoping they get better though. Wrestling is always better with an alternative.

  6. I have to admit the Sting/Booker/Angle-Joe/Styles/Jarrett program is intriguing me. I'd enjoy some TNA World titled exchanges between Joe-Booker then a big return for Jarrett-Booker then Angle-Jarrett and Styles-Angle, Styles loses to Sting then the big showdown Jarrett gets the belt back from Sting.

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About the Author Fred Richani (columnist)

  • 70 articles written
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