Christmas Carols 2009: Spreading Football Cheer

LANDOVER, MD - DECEMBER 21:  A fan of the Washington Redskins waits in the stands prior to the game against the New York Giants at FedEx Field on December 21, 2009 in Landover, Maryland. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Win McNamee/Getty Images
Pigskin HeavenCorrespondent IDecember 24, 2009

Another holiday season is upon us, which means family, friends, and the spirit of giving. My gift to you, as it has been these last few years, are everyone's favorite Christmas carols with an NFL (and now college) spin.

Be sure to load up on eggnog, put on your ugly sweater, and sing these carols loudly this Christmas. Maybe Santa will be so wowed he'll give you the gift of your team in the playoffs. Unless you're a Jets fan.


Here comes Tom Cable
(to the tune of “Here Comes Santa Claus”)

Here comes Tom Cable,
Here comes Tom Cable,
Coming to punch us out.
Bad on defense,
And worse on offense,
And a great big gout.
Bells are ringing, women screaming,
Oh what a terrible sight.
So hang your stocking but lock the door
‘Cause Tom Cable comes tonight.

Here comes Tom Cable,
Here comes Tom Cable,
In his mid forties.
Al Davis has got his seat
At 800 degrees!
See his Raiders trip and bumble
Future’s sort of bright,
So jump in bed, leave the team for dead
‘Cause Tom Cable comes tonight.

An Ochocinco Christmas
(to the tune of “Deck the Halls”)

Did you hear ‘bout Ochocinco,
Fined fined fined fined fined, fined fined fined fined!
Tried to bribe the refs a dollar,
Fined fined fined fined fined, 20 grand.
Don he now a big sombrero,
Fined fined fined, fined fined fined, 30 grand,
Wore a wrongly colored chinstrap
Fined fined fined fined fined, fined ten thousand.

Wanted to wear Henry’s 15,
Fa la la la la, would have been cool.
But the NFL said no,
Fa la la la la, la just chill out.
We just wish Goodell would relax,
Fa la la, la la la, you’ve been fined
Maybe he should kiss the baby,
Fa la la la la, oh Child Please.

Home Field Isn’t Comin’ to Town
(to the tune of Santa Claus is ‘Comin to Town)

You better play well,
You better go fight,
Even though Favre has played all right,
Home field isn’t comin’, to town.

Drew Brees is a stud,
His numbers are nice
And under pressure he’s as cool as ice,
Home field isn’t comin’, to town

They score when you are sleeping,
They score when you’re awake,
And they’ll play the big game in the Superdome
With the Superbowl at stake

Oh, AP better run,
And Percy take flight,
Though Minny will play with all their might,
Home field isn’t comin’, to town.

Silent Night
(to the tune of...uh…”Silent Night”)

Silent night…
Quiet night…
Just another…..Jaguars home game
Game’s been blacked out, once again.
Cannot sell out, can’t explain.
Off to LA we go-o…
Off to LA we go.

Silent night…
Quiet night…
David Garrard, gets no breaks.
MJD, took a knee.
Searching for playoffs, but it’s not to be.
We should just draft Tim Te-bow…
We should just draft Tim Tebow

On the 12th day of Christmas, the NFL gave to me...
(to the tune of “12 Days of Christmas”)

Twelve on the field
Eleven Drew Brees touchdowns
Ten failed fake field goals
Nine Packers O-lines
Eight Cribbs kickoff TD’s
Seven wild card hopefuls
Six new kickers
Four Oakland QB’s
Three canned OC’s
Two Tampa wins
And a brand new Brett Favre team!

“We Wish We Were In the Title Game”
(to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”)

We wish we were in the title game,
We wish we were in the title game,
We wish we were in the title game,
But we’re from TCU.

The BCS stinks,
It hates us Horned Frogs.
It’s just scared we’ll throttle ‘Bama
Someone pass the eggnog.

No love for the WAC,
Or the Mountain West
So we’ll have a fiesta
Mauling Idaho’s best.

We wish we were in the title game,
We wish we were in the title game,
We wish we were in the title game,
But we need a playoff!! 

This is an original article by Pigskin Heaven Writer, Whit Prowdy, you can read it, more of Whit Prowdy's articles and more from the Pigskin Heaven staff, here.

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