Kwame Brown : The Conspiracy, What You Don't Know

Barrett HargerCorrespondent IJune 29, 2008

Over the years many people have come to see Kwame Brown as an NBA joke, bust, and total screw-up, but something seems a little odd. Kwame Brown was the number 1 player selected in the 2001 draft by the Washington Wizards and was not just selected by anybody...but my Michael Jordan. Something seems strange about that, M.J. isn't that stupid. Also Kwame Brown has always been said to have incredible potential with a huge frame along with incredible athleticism for his size. So how could someone with such super human abilities find a way to completely suck? How could this have happened? David Stern!!! Stern knew of Kwame's attributes and knew that such complete dominance alongside Michael Jordan would create another dynasty and cause NBA viewers to lose interest knowing their team had no chance. Stern threatened Kwame saying he would frame him for the murders of Michael Vick's dog Holocaust and take his soul and give it to the devil. Kwame (not being of a high intellect) believed Stern and held back from playing at a high level. Kwame has felt so violated that over time he has become a "complete loser" or also known as the Ryan Leaf of the NBA. The L.A. Lakers felt trading Caron Butler for Kwame Brown was like trading a Scooby snack for a sirloin steak. They thought the Wizards were just too stupid to know how to use him, unaware of David Stern's tyranny over the Kwamster. Over time the Lakers found out he was garbage and traded him and some other crap for Pau Gasol, which was also considered to be like trading a Scooby snack for a sirloin steak. The addition of Gasol helped the Lakers get to finals only to be violated by the likes of Leon Powe. Kwame was sent to the Grizzlies, the worst team not named the Sonics. Stern has considered lifting his threat since he is on the Grizzlies, but is still afraid that Kwame's majestic powers will even be able to guide the Grizzly Bears into basketball immortality. Stern has been debating on whether or not to give Kwame a shot, but he knows that once Kwame is unleashed he will become unstoppable. We will find out next year on Stern's final decision.