College Football: My Bucket List
While standing in line at my local video store last week, I saw โThe Bucket Listโ was available. While I havenโt seen the movie featuring that old guy from the Lakersโ games and that narrator guy, I pretty much know the premise. Two guys make a list of all the things they want to do before they kick the bucket.
That made my mind wander and I thought that I should make a college football bucket list. Itโs going to be hard to cross off some of the things on this list, while some of the things Iโve already experienced. This is a narrowed down list, as an unabridged one would be too long so I am leaving some things off. I canโt include everyone, sorry.
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So in no particular order:
The Songs
West Virginia
โTake me home, country roadsโฆโ
I heard this song sung by a Mountaineer home crowd once and I wanted to be there swaying with them. Since the temperatures there probably get pretty chilly, maybe this would be an excellent early season trip. Even though lighting couches on fire isnโt really my thing, you know what they say, โWhen in Rome.โ
Iowa
โIn Heaven There is No Beerโ
While I hope itโs not a true statement, I would love to experience the singing of this song first hand, and perhaps check out some of the bumblebee garbed heartland honeys as well. Kudos to the Hawkeye faithful for making a polka song cool.
Tennessee
"Rocky Top"
If you havenโt experienced the Vols running through the โTโ and 100,000+ people singing โRocky Topโ at the rocky top of their lungs, then you need to see the Orange Nation in person. The checkerboard end zones and the Tennessee Navy make this place a unique experience.
Plus you get to work on your Ric Flair impression with a 100,000 others:
โGood old Rocky Topโ
โWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!โ
โRocky Top Tennessee!โ
It only starts to get old right around the 94th time itโs played.
The Rivalries
Iron Bowl
I donโt think any rivalry approaches the level of hate that Alabama vs. Auburn does. This is venomous stuff. Iโve never had the chance to check out this game and will have to make it a point down the road.
While I am very familiar with Auburn and Bama fans and hold equal disdain for both, I really respect this rivalry and would put this trip pretty high on the list.
Michigan-Ohio State
Now that Iโve offended all the Buckeyes and Wolverines with paying tribute to the Iron Bowl, let it be known that this is right up there. Just like the Iron Bowl, these two teams have gone back and forth through history with one of the two teams dominating as of late.
But letโs face it, itโs Michigan-Ohio State, I donโt need to give you reasons why this is a must on the list.
Army-Navy
Between the Cadetsโ march and the singing of alma maters after the game, thereโs about 100 reasons you need to see these young men clash on the football field. Words arenโt adequate. It is the epitome of a rivalry filled with mutual respect. This should be one of the most important ones on your list.
Game Day Atmosphere
LSU
Tailgating is something near and dear to my own heart. In Louisiana, having a good time is just as important as having a good game, and no one does it better than Baton Rouge.
With traditional night game kickoffs, Tiger fans have all day to hone their craft of creating incredible game day fare with a Louisiana kick, partying with fans from both sides, and hoisting one of the two most common pre-game libations: beer and bourbon.
LSU fans prepare for their parties like players preparing for their games, and with tailgates spread all throughout campus, you wonโt have trouble running into a pre-game fun fest. If youโre an opposing fan, you may have to brave a few โTigah Baits!โ here and there, but most of the Tiger faithful will welcome you with open arms, fill you with food and alcohol before becoming mortal enemies immediately after kickoff.
If the Tigers are victorious, your Sunday morning hangover and fuzzy memories might indicate you had a better time losing than you thought.
Washington
I may have a chance to scratch this off my list in 2009. Tailgating on Lake Washington is where I want to be. Plus U Dub is located in Seattle, which isnโt exactly a college town in a good way. There arenโt many venues like Husky Stadium.
Ole Miss
Some of these places on the list I point out merely for the spectacle and is in no way an endorsement. It would be in the same way people visit the Amish country. You donโt necessarily want to take on that way of life but you at least need to see what itโs all about.
So, with that being said, the Rebels get known for their tailgating practices because of The Grove, which features centrally located tailgating. The Grove is a commons area that is anything but common. Sorority girls and fraternity boys are dressed in their finest. Silver platters, crystal glasses, and chandeliers hanging from tailgate tents make this place unique.
Though the food was probably catered and style reigns over substance, donโt let that stop you from enjoying โHotty Toddyโ with the red and blue masses.
Texas A&M
Much in the same way you have to visit Oxford for the culture shock, you must go to College Station. Go to midnight yell on Friday nightโthereโs simply no better pep rally in the nation. You wonโt have trouble finding traditions at A&M because I think they call everything a tradition there. But you have to soak in this place for a weekend.
Just arrive there and ask the first person that tells you โHowdyโ to be your tour guide for the weekend. Besides, itโll help to have an Aggie/English interpreter. And donโt forget to get a date for the game, because you have a built-in excuse to mug down when the Aggies score on the field. Not all their traditions are weird.
Notre Dame-
Wouldnโt visiting Notre Dame be the equivalent of a holy pilgrimage for a college football fan? While most either love or hate the Irish, I missed my opportunity to visit South Bend in the '90s. With Touchdown Jesus, the Irish Guardโs march, and the 1812 overture, thereโs plenty to see in addition to dozens of other little nougats of history.
Plus, Iโd love to re-enact the scene in โRudyโ where I play John Favreau and I stand up screaming, โI know him!!!โ
Talk amongst yourselves, Iโm a little teary eyed right nowโฆ
Game Time
Clemson
Running down the hill at Clemson has been called the most exciting 25 seconds in college football, and players who are gonna give 110 percent get to rub Howardโs Rock. Itโs truly one of the more dramatic entrances in college football. I would love to see how the โotherโ Death Valley lives before kicking the bucket.
Oregon
Autzen Stadium packs the most amount of noise per capita than any other stadium. With capacity at just a shade under 60,000, this stadium can hold its own with some of the biggest noise producers in the nation, often passing the 120 decibel mark. I guess Iโll have to bring my Donald Duck ear muffs when visiting Eugene.
Nebraska
When using the term "greatest fans in the nation," there are a lot of parameters in play. With that said, the Husker faithful would be near the top of such a list. The fans are knowledgeable and welcoming, but also intimidating.ย After kickoff, try not to drown in the Sea of Red.
Florida
Some people say for an opposing fan, itโs LSU. But for this LSU fan, the most intimidating opposing venue is "The Swamp." Even its design is a little scary, and then the UF athletic department does something brilliantโthey make sure no more than 25 opposing fans are seated together.
Iโm barely kidding. Itโs pure genius. In my one experience in Gainesville I was cursed out by an 80-year-old woman with a cane and kicked in the shins by a six-year-old little Gator girl while her parents watched and laughed.
I havenโt made the 10-hour drive since. Despite this, I still had good time.
Wisconsin
Oh to be in college again. There arenโt many student sections that live up to the Badgersโ. "Jump Around" is truly a sight to behold, so I bet itโs even better when actually participating with the bouncing bevy of Badgers to the old House of Pain joint.
โI came to get down
I came to get down
So get out ya seat and Jump Around
Jump Aroundโ
The classics are timeless, people.
Rose Bowl
Admittedly, this one is for the wife, who has a desire to go to the parade. But being born in New Orleans, I donโt understand parades that donโt throw stuff. That said, it would be cool to say I attended the Granddaddy of them all with all its tradition and pageantry.ย
Attend a National Championship Game
Here I am, a fan of a team thatโs won two crystal balls in five years, both in a city 70 miles away from my house. And I didnโt see it in person either time. Try as I might, I couldnโt get a ticket in 2003. I had last minute access in January 2008 and decided not to go all in the name of superstition.
Hey cโmon, Iโm 2-0 when not attending. But if Iโm fortunate enough to get the opportunity to see LSU play in a championship game in person again, I wonโt pass it up, superstition be damned.
THE GIRLS
Guys, if you want to search out place where the pretty co-eds are a plenty, you have to make these stops a must.
USC
When are sweaters ever sexy??? When, I ask!!? When theyโre being donned by the USC Song Girls, thatโs when. Also when Jenny took some pictures in her college sweater in Forrest Gump but Iโm pretty sure that was fictional.
Anyhoo, most of these girls are so hot itโs like theyโre not even real people, but I assure you, they are real. You just have no real shot with them. Sorry. But that doesnโt mean you canโt go check out a Trojan game with these sideline sirens and their pom poms. Bring binoculars you peeping tom.
Florida State-
Speaking of California girls, the state of Florida also boasts some terrific female talent. Iโll give a shout out to any school that produced Jenn Sterger and created the trend of hot girls dressing like trampy cowgirls with hopes to be discovered by Hollywood or a talent agency or something. Best trend ever. (As pointed out by Lisa Horne http://bleacherreport.com/articles/29209-fads-in-football-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly)
If you do find a friend of the opposite sex in Tallahassee, I hear Dick Howser Stadiumโs pitching mound is the hook up place of choice. And all this time I thought it would have been home plate.
Texas
Iโm not really a dance team or cheerleader expert, but Iโd like to give a high five to the costume designer for the Texas Pom Squad. The funny thing is, other than bare arms and midriff this costume really doesnโt show off a whole lot. So why do I like it so much? Itโs one of lifeโs little mysteries. Maybe itโs the chaps. Maybe Iโm revealing too much again? Austin is one of my favorite cities because letโs face it, you havenโt really partied till youโve partied on Sixth Street.
Arizona St.
Iโd love to visit the Palm Walk and take in all the sights of Tempe. The Sun Devilsโ reputation when it comes to partying is well known, and thatโs just fine by me.
Iโve gotten pictures sent to me through e-mail on more than one occasion featuring smoking hot ASU girls posing for the lens. I donโt live near Arizona or know anyone from Arizona, but somehow they find their way to my Inbox. That should count for something.
Plus, who doesnโt love a girl that throws up โthe shocker?"
Georgia
Iโm not sure what the male/female ratio is at UGA, but it seems like the guys are outnumbered heavily. How awful for them, eh? It doesnโt hurt that the Southern belles look so fetching in their red and black. The downtown Athens area is one of my favorite away trip destinations.
And on a final note, Iโd like to pay my respects to UGA VI, who died last week. Itโs always hard to lose a loved and respected mascot, and UGA VI was truly one of the things that make college football so great.
Also, in case youโre wondering, of the 23 things on this list, Iโve only crossed off seven. Iโve got some work to do, but hopefully (fingers crossed) I still have a lot of time to do it.
So thatโs my list, whatโs on yours?

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