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Oakland Raiders: Cable Superbowl Chances Facing "HEAVY" Odds

OAKLAND, CA - JANUARY 03: Head coach Tom Cable of the Oakland Raiders walks off the field after losing to the Baltimore Ravens during an NFL game at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on January 3, 2010 in Oakland, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images
Barnavicious XCorrespondent IFebruary 25, 2010

I've been reading about JaMarcus Russell a lot lately; the hot topics seem to be race and fitness.

Naturally I began to think of other ways to be prejudice since these are so played out. I also figured JR had taken enough of a beating so I'd focus on Tom Cable and how I can be prejudice toward him.

Most people haven't realized this but Tom Cable is a fat man. Not Biggest Loser fat but certainly shopping in the husky section. Fortunately he gets to wear a lot of black.

So how does this relate to football? We'll he's certainly not a very good role model for our beloved chubby quarterback. 

More importantly, the alarming shortage of fat Superbowl winning head coaches.

Well, there's Holmgren most recently right? Wrong, Holmey didn't reach full girth until post Superbowl Victory. At his current voluptitude only a runner up. 

Bill Parcell's infamous moobs developed post Superbowl as well. 

Weeb Ewbank is controversial at best, more cuddly than fat. Chuck Knoll never really reached capacity during the Steelers Superbowl runs.

Andy Reid, another runner up. Is it fitness related? 

Then there is the beloved John Madden. Too close to call for me. 

Does the Lombardi trophy suffer Cacamorphobia? The stats say yes.

Maybe if the trophy was cream filled they'd have better luck, or gold foil wrapping up delicious chocolate.

Any way if you don't get it by now just move on.....

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