SUPERMAN IS DEAD!!! Could Tebow Actually Be Human?

D. WebbCorrespondent IAugust 19, 2010


"Faster than a Speeding Lineman, Stronger than a Loco linebacker, able to leap tall criticisms in a single bound!"

     One man, one seemingly immortal man, who’s life history and accomplishments have suggested that his origins might not have been of this world, Cheated death in the womb, Overcame childhood illnesses, Being told he wasn’t good enough, Told he couldn’t play quarterback, broken bones, head injuries , Athletic eligibility restrictions for Home Schools students, and dozens of other hurdles that would have daunted earthly men.

 2007 - Tim played through a broken hand on his non-throwing side and a severely bruised shoulder on his left side.

 2008 - Played through various injuries including bone spurs in his hand that he had operated on shortly after the 2008 National championship celebration.

 2009 - Tebow started against Kentucky despite suffering from a respiratory illness and taking two bags of intravenous fluids before the game. In the Kentucky game - suffered a concussion where he lay motionless on the field for several minutes. On October 31, Tebow was on the field against the Geargia Bull Dogs and rushed for his 50th and 51st touchdowns to break Hershel Walker’s all time SEC rushing score mark.    

    Through all of the injuries Tebow missed little or no playing time, and continued to excell at Superhuman rate. His reputation for duribility and “toughness” had reached almost legendary status; the stuff Marvel Comics Hero reps are made of.

     Couple that with the insane training schedule Tebow has put himself through to hone and improve his footwork and throwing motion, even “A Man of Steel” would be expected to wear down, but seemingly did not.

Scene: August 15, 2010 Cincinnati, Ohio, the Queens City, Bengals (Enemy) Territory:

   With minutes left in the third quarter, Tim Tebow disgarded his mild mannered underwear model, Christian boy disguise, put on his cape and the target on his back, and went out to face the evil criminal masterminded Bengals!

      When the smoke cleared Tim Tebow has taken several hard shots, from people trying to make a reputation for bringing him down.

  The perceived Kryptonite came in the form of 465 pounds of backup defensive players looking to stave off entry into the record books for having given up Tebow’s first pro touchdown. As the world knows they didn’t succeed in bringing down the Man from Krypton; or did they?!

                                      Dun dun dun!!! Cue ominous music!

      Everybody with a psuedo media credential and a media outlet has reported that Tim Tebow has a rib injury, and has left Wednesday’s practice with a micro wince and skipping his beloved sprints. Speculation that he may not play in the preseason game this Saturday against Detroit.

Oh No! Super Man is DEAD!

      The thought that Tim Tebow might just be a mortal man after all is somehow earth shattering! The bruised ribs felt ‘round the world”. If this was any other player a couple of bruised intercostal muscles and minor cartilage strain would be back page stuff but this is SUPER MAN! He can’t be injured, even a little bit!

 It’s impossible, like Hancock getting shot by a convienence store robber!

    Sore about being soundly crushed on the goalline the Bengals defenders must have injected a subdermal dose of

  liquified Kryptonite into his rib area! It’s the only logical explaination! That has to be it! It's a plan that would impress even Lex Luther or the Legion of Doom!

     The truth is that Tebow is neither invincible or perfect! He’s not a Saint, he’s not a savior he’s not a Super Hero he’s just a man! A man that has worked very hard and endured a lot of adversity to reach the highest pinicle of success at ever point in his life and career.

      For this many revere him, many revile him, but nobody tuned into the world of football or sport can marginalize him. Maybe now people can just focus on his actual trivails and triumphs, not some secret identiy! 

Superman is Dead! But that might not be such a bad thing!