(Mackey and the Sleeze watching the game, side note: couldn't put the wires in the wall since I live in a gay apartment)There comes a point in every man’s life, when he has to hear the inevitable question, “What team do you follow?” A grown man with hair on his chest and back (aka Sleezy) would answer back calmly, “MIZZOU”, and just be done with it. Alas, I seem to have to face a much different road. That’s right, Mackey’s back. Your favorite contact fan is back for the sagas and woes that only a bandwagoneer could understand. As a contract fan, there were several things that I had to do prior to watching my first MIZZOU game as a registered Tiger.
#1 - Get to know the players – Simply knowing that there’s this guy on the team that leaves a vapor trail in his wake isn’t good enough, you have to know his name. I quickly discovered that this un-human individual is none other than Jeremy Maclin. (who we all know feigned injury so the NCAA wont discover that he’s actually a cyborg, sent from the future to save the Big 12 from relative obscurity, or Oklahoma) But learning this was much harder than I originally expected. Apparently, when you generate names for your players in NCAA Football 08 you don’t get the real names. Sleezy informed me of that when I started yelling, “Get it together Brewster!” This guy actually goes by the name Chase Daniel. Who Knew?#2 – Learn the fight song – I did it! I have proof! The easiest way to do this is play NCAA Football 08, but you have to score points for that to work. Nebraska kicked my ass, so I kicked my controller’s ass, the TV’s ass, and my tiles floor’s ass. Let me tell you this…that TV was a chump, and now he’s got a limp, a grudge, and a mild case of retardation to boot. So I just picked “Play Now” and matched up against some team called the FCS Midwest, I think there highest ranking was a 55% on special teams. After I beat the living snot out of the Mighty Ducks in football pads, the fight song was a lock.
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