Mike Singletary Needs To Know: Why Are 49er Players and Coaches Quitting?

Moose .Correspondent IDecember 10, 2010

SAN FRANCISCO - NOVEMBER 14:  Head coach Mike Singletary of the San Francisco 49ers shouts on the sidelines during their game against the St. Louis Rams at Candlestick Park on November 14, 2010 in San Francisco, California.  (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Was it something he said? Is it bad breath? Halitosis? Why? As a customer service representative once told me when an angry customer wanted to speak to a supervisor, "He's asking me all these 'Why' questions. 'Why? Why? Why?'"

I don't know.

It's not like any of these guys were taking the 49ers to the Super Bowl, but still.

I thought I might track these guys down and ask them a few questions.

Glenn Coffee was first. I couldn't get a hold of him, though. The last word was that he escaped from a Department of Transportation Road Crew. He's kept up his Twitter account, frequently posting things like, "Gotta keep moving, keep those legs churning." "Run to daylight." "Hit the hole." 

Sounds like he's staying in shape. Maybe he wants to come back.

Next was Kentwan Balmer. Balmer has had an excellent season since leaving the 49ers, then being traded to the Seattle Seahawks. Turning his career around completely, he's thrown 20 touchdown passes and passed for over 3,000 yards. Oh, wait, that's Carson Palmer. My bad.

How about Michael Lewis? He hasn't traveled far either, landing with the St. Louis Rams and compiling two tackles against the 49ers five weeks ago. That's twice as many as he's gotten the rest of the season as a member of the Rams. Clearly harboring some hard feelings there and taking them out on his old friends on the Niners.

Now secondary coach Johnnie Lynn has quit for "personal" reasons. Personal!? Doesn't he know there is no "personal" in team? There's not even room for all that. 

There are others as well, but Jed York has kept that under wraps. Frank Gore out with a hip injury. Uh huh. Joe Nedney's knee? He's a KICKER!! Kickers aren't allowed to get hurt, are they? 

With all these players leaving, why, oh why does Alex Smith keep coming back? Does anybody remember the old running joke on Saturday Night Live? General Francissimo Franco is still dead? Well, Alex Smith is still our starting quarterback. 

Now I get it.

It's a running joke!