When I was in high school, I had a basketball coach who graduated from Purdue University. He would talk about the Boilermakers all the time. He would say the Big Ten was the best conference in the nation. He would throw out obscure facts to overwhelm me.
The worst was his complete discrediting of FSU and anything they did. He was definantly from the old school where Midwestern football was all that existed, and frankly I think he had an inferiority problem being from Indiana and having to deal with IU and Notre Dame fans.
But then something happened that finally got him to stop his barrage of non-sense.
Dave Lettermen used to run fake advertisements. I watched Dave every night, as he might be one of the smartest people on television (way better than Leno). Either way, Gene Kady was the coach at Purdue forever and he had an awful comb-over. He had this scowl and this giant bald head with four to eight strands of hair running over the top of it.
“This was brought to you by: Purdue basketball — it’s a comb-over!” Alan Kalder would repeat this night after night. So I went in one day and told my coach about it. This is what he said, “If we have reached the point of being joked about on Dave Lettermen, maybe it is time to give it up.”
Why did I tell you this story?
Because it is time for FSU to give up.
My friend, AJ, is going to Nash-vegas for the game. She goes to all the games. She loves FSU football and may love some of the players as well. She always asks what I think about the team and what has transpired.
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Recently she asked if I had any suggestions for a sign she could make to try and get on TV. Here were my ideas:
“At least we don't have a chance to cheat on our sisters”
“Instead of losing by 2 TD’s, it will be 3”
“Our next head coach wanted to go to WVU.”
Ok. The last one was not real, but it is true.
In the last few months, our team has been a lightening rod for stupidity. And by lightening, I mean, self-inflicted dumb ass behavior. We have an offensive coordinator who is going to be the next head coach at one of the more prestigious programs inthe nation. He has a 2.5 million dollar buy-out, and he decided he wanted to go to WVU.
Our current head coach does not game plan. He does not coach on the sidelines. He does not remember his players' names.
He has a field named after him, a stained glass window, and a statue in his likeness. He is a great man with great character, and the only thing he was really good at recently — recruiting — has been taken over by the coach who wanted to go to WVU.
The first thing people said when Fisher wanted to leave was, “There go our recruits. The only reason people want to come here is because of him. They have openly said that.”
Looks like FSU was about to become another faded program.
Then we had 20-25 players cheat academically. As a graduate, a former student-athlete, and a fan, I can say that those people are stupid. I am not going to sit here and defend them. People would ask me what I thought, and I would tell them that our players are idiots and do not deserve to play.
They should be penalized and the people in the athletic department who knew about it or turned a blind eye should be fired.
Do not come at me with this non-sense. I am not going to say it is ok. I am a fan, not an administrator. Now, if you want to make fun or rag on the players, then yes, by all means please do so.
Finally, Bowden wanted a four year extension. He was given a one year contract and can collect a million dollar bonus for “lifetime achievement” when he retires. Do you see what this is?!
We are trying to coerce our 76 year old head coach into leaving.
If that is not enough, Fisher’s contract states that if we do not hire him in three years, we will pay him 2.5 million dollars. He will be the head coach soon. Most people think after next year, since the schedule is favorable. A few say after this bowl game.
I say, what does it matter?
We are a bad team. We will be bad until Fisher is the coach, and even then we may not be that good. That is at most 3 years away. I am not going to hold my breath or analyze the X’s and the O’s.
I am going to make jokes and poke fun.
Because, at this point, humor is all we have left.
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