SEC Football

How Many SEC Students Does It Take To Screw in a Lightbulb?

Michael ShibleySenior Analyst ISeptember 19, 2008

These jokes have been told and retold around SEC country for years.  I thought just before the big SEC games this weekend got going I would put them here for everyone to enjoy.

Also, if you have any of your own about an SEC school or any other program I would love to hear them!


At VANDERBILT: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.

At GEORGIA: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one to phone an engineer at Georgia Tech for instructions.

At FLORIDA: It takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.

At ALABAMA: It takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.

At OLE MISS: It takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At LSU: It takes seven, and each one gets credit for five semester hours.

At KENTUCKY: It takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.

At TENNESSEE: It takes 10, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and whine and complain about how bad it looks every week.

At MISSISSIPPI STATE: It takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and 12 to yell, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS."

At AUBURN: It takes 100, one to change it, 49 to talk about how they did it better than at Bama, and 50 to get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.

At SOUTH CAROLINA: It takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.

At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas.

Where can I comment?

Stay on your game

Latest news, insights, and forecasts on your teams across leagues.

Choose Teams
Get it on the App StoreGet it on Google Play

Real-time news for your teams right on your mobile device.

Copyright © 2017 Bleacher Report, Inc. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved. is part of Bleacher Report – Turner Sports Network, part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Network. Certain photos copyright © 2017 Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Getty Images is strictly prohibited. AdChoices