HUMOR—Well folks, it's official. The NFL and its players have decided to de-certify from each other. This makes the possibility of a 2011 season seem very bleak. The NFL owners and players could not reach a new deal by the deadline, but that doesn't mean there won't be football in 2011.
There has been word of Dan Marino organizing what he calls the OFL, or Old Folk's League. There has also been talk of Joe Montana coming out of retirement to team up with Barry Sanders and Michael Irvin.
Some of the other possible OFL players will include such guys as Marshall Faulk, Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith (Weird Beard included), John Elway, Troy Aikman, Michael Strahan (oiled and ready to go), Deion Sanders (claims he's willing to play for San Fransisco or Dallas or Atlanta or Washington or Baltimore...really anyone willing to let him play KR, PR, WR, QB and DB), Warren Sapp, Terry Bradshaw (says football is the only woman he's ever truly loved), Brett Favre and Dan Marino.
There has been no word on what the points system will be, but I've heard rumors that walkers will only be allowed during the final 15 minutes of play. Also, they will not play for the traditional Lombardi trophy but instead will be rewarded with a year's supply of Gold Bond medicated powder and a six-month supply of Just For Men beard treatment. Jimmy Johnson said he will officially donate a lifetime's worth of a little blue pill he doesn't really use.