Want to know how Chad Johnson is going to get around the NFL's jersey-sale banning of the name Ocho Cinco? Simple—he's packed his bags and is moving to Dallas, where they have a fresh No. 85 jersey with his name on it.
Ocho Cinco will follow in the footsteps Pacman, Tank, T.O., Primetime, and Debbie, as he becomes the next infamously nicknamed figure to don a Cowboys uniform.
Some of you may think I'm crazy, that Terrell Owens and Ocho Cinco could never co-exist on the field. Think again, think harder—Chad Johnson has been sharing the limelight with T.J. Houshmandzadeh his entire career. Owens started his career with Jerry Rice, and the Cowboys arguably play better when the "T.O. Ratio" (stemming from the Randy Ratio) offensive strategy is not intact.
What we saw this past week should be the NFL's definition of tampering. There was the T.O.-Jerry Jones-Ocho Cinco photo opp before the game. Jones even had Tony Romo toss Chad a pass, to see how it feels.
You can talk all you want in my book, but having your quarterback throw another team's wide receiver some balls?
Now that’s tampering.
It's not Jerry Jones' fault, though; he's doing what any winning-obsessed owner would do. Or maybe he's just doing what he does. Either way, he can always say "Chad started it," even if Jones finishes it.
"I love Dallas so much..." Johnson said in a conference call with Metroplex reporters. "Tell Jerry Jones I said, 'Hello. Give me a call some time.'"
In the call, Ocho Cinco was very candid about being unhappy in Cincinnati, and thinking Dallas would be a perfect fit.
"They would have to change all of our damn games to pay-per-view because you need to pay to see that shit. I’m serious. I’m so serious. They would have to put all the games on pay-per-view. Because you can’t just watch a show like that for free. Eighty-one and 85? Come on, now. Please.”
The thing is, he's is right. Lining up Chad Johnson on the other side of Terrell Owens would have defensive coordinators in the Betty Ford clinic. Let's not forget, Jason Witten would be occupying the middle of the field, Marion Barber and Felix Jones would still be the league's best thunder-and-lightning combo, and Patrick Crayton could go back in the slot, where he is actually effective.
Tony Romo would look like Zeus in the pocket behind his giant Pro Bowl offensive linemen. Ocho Cinco could have Texas rapper Paul Wall make him a grill with little stars on the teeth.
As television converts to digital, the NFL Network could devote an entire channel to a 24/7 Cowboys reality show. Ocho Cinco and T.O., sleeping side-by-side in their hyperbolic time chambers.
For all of this to happen, the Bengals would still have to trade Johnson, who is under contract until 2010, with an option for 2011. We have seen unhappy wide receivers get dealt before, however. Randy Moss was valued at a fourth-round pick before his record-setting season.
Mr. Jones, what's Ocho Cinco worth to you?
comments (17) write a comment »
write a new comment
about 1 month ago
It is quite possible. Especially if we don't win the Super Bowl this year. Also if Romo can get along with Ocho Cinco then Jones has an elite receiver for Romo when TO retires. TO already has said the more the merrier before. The issue with Glenn was that he was getting old while Ocho Cinco is very young. Very good article dude. One of my picks
from about 1 month ago
Ocho Cinco acts like a youngster, but you may be surprised that he is actually 30! T.O. is 34, the same age as Terry Glenn. All that being said T.O. and Chad both have plenty of youth left in their game. I think this would be great for the NFL.
from about 1 month ago
It would be awesome for the NFL. It would make the Cowboys even have more character. We can take him easily and turn him around.
about 1 month ago
Great argument! I would love to see Ocho Cinco come over and play for the Cowboys but for some reason I just don't see it happening.
from about 1 month ago
Yeah maybe not, the Bengs owner thinks he can "fix" everybody and every problem.... I mean seriously whats the over/under on days until Chris Henry is arrested?
about 1 month ago
Great argument! I would love to see Ocho Cinco come over and play for the Cowboys but for some reason I just don't see it happening.
about 1 month ago
Hopefully old Jerry can pull it off.
about 1 month ago
I don't know how that got posted twice, it always happens when my computer goes to sleep on a page and then I "wake it up"...my apologies!
from about 1 month ago
It's Ok, your comp was just dreaming about the TO-Ocho show and got excited... Seriously though, these two would have the most watched reality TV show of all time, Hard knocks was great, imagine if you had Ocho eating his egg McMuffin every morning.
about 1 month ago
As a Bungle fan, I think it's time for Ocho to hit the road-o. We can't get any worse..... right? :(
from about 1 month ago
Can you get a negative win? I think it's time to start setting up the draft board.
about 1 month ago
I hate the Cowboys like nothing else but I want to see this come to fruition. Chad is right, him and TO shouldn't be free to viewers.
about 1 month ago
Cowboy Fans check this out as well.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/65839-felix-jones-is-the-offensive-rookie-of-the-year
about 1 month ago
Very interesting, piece. It would certainly be entertaining to watch those two line up with the same team, but I'm not convinced it would be best for the Cowboys or the league.
Way to stir up some debate, though.
about 1 month ago
I love the McDonalds line in the poll since he loves McDonalds and it's basically all he eats in the off season. Good article too.
from about 1 month ago
Yeah when NFL Films (or maybe ESPN) was following him around camp a few years ago, he picked up an application and said something like "gotta have a life after football." Classic
from about 1 month ago
I remember an old ESPN show where they had athletes paired up in a newlyweds type show and Chad said that he goes on the McDonalds diet during the off-season. Gotta love Ocho Cinco.
write a new comment