Damn Yankees!: The Most Memorable Appearances by NY Yankee Players on Seinfeld

Yaneek SmithContributor IIIMay 3, 2011

Damn Yankees!: The Most Memorable Appearances by NY Yankee Players on Seinfeld

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    In the 1990s, we enjoyed watching the greatest television show of all-time, Seinfeld.

    What made the program even more entertaining at times is when we got to see cameo appearances by Yankees personnel, something that happened about a half-dozen times during the show's nine season run.

    This list counts down the memorable appearances made a slew of Yankees over the years.

No. 5: Danny Tartabull

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    Appearances: 1) "The Chaperone" (Season 6, Episode 1)—September 22, 1994; 2) "The Pledge Drive" (Season 6, Episode 3)—October 6, 1994

    In Danny Tartabull's first appearance, George gives the Yankees slugger some pointers on how to "improve" his swing and, after seeing how sweaty Tartabull is in the jersey, gets the idea to have the Yankees wear cotton uniforms.

    We all know how that turned out.

    In Tartabull's second appearance, George drives him to a fundraiser for Public Television, but diverts from the route when he believes that someone flipped him off.

    Here's the exchange from "The Chaperone": 

    [A locker room at Yankee Stadium. George is helping Danny Tartabull with his swing.]

    GEORGE: Okay Danny, take a swing. N-No! No! No! You're opening up your shoulder.

    TARTABULL: Really?

    GEORGE: No, not really. I'm just saying this to you because I like to hear myself talk. Yes, really!

    TARTABULL (wiping sweat from his brow): Alright, alright.

    GEORGE: What are you all sweatin' for?

    TARTABULL: It's hot in this uniform.

    GEORGE: Hot? What is this?

    TARTBULL: What is what?

    GEORGE: This uniform, what's it made from?

    TARTBULL: I don't know, cotton?

    GEORGE: No. This is not cotton. Here, lemme see. Will you stop it? Oh. Of course. Polyester!


    GEORGE: I can't believe you're not playing in cotton.

    TARTABULL: Well, this is what they give us.

    GEORGE: You know they used to make leisure suits out of this fabric?

    TARTABULL: You really think cotton's better?

    GEORGE: Of course! Alright, maybe I'll say something to Buck.

    TARTABULL: Yeah, good idea. Catch ya later.

    GEORGE: Hey, don't embarrass me today. I got some friends in the stands.


    Here is the exchange from "The Pledge Drive":

    [George and Danny are in the car with one another.]

    TARTABULL: This isn't gonna take long (the fundraiser), is it?

    GEORGE: Oh no, in and out, I made sure of that. And you'll be happy to know I
    perused the script and it's met with my approval.

    TARTABULL: I'm sure it's fine.

    GEORGE (swerving): Hey! Watch it! Did you see that guy? He just gave me the

    TARTABULL: You sure?

    GEORGE: Oh yeah! Middle finger, straight up, at me! At us!

    TARTABULL: What are you doing?

    GEORGE: I'm following him.

No. 4: Bernie Williams and Derek Jeter

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    Appearance: "The Abstinence" (Season 8, Episode 9)—November 21, 1996

    Because George can't have sex with his girlfriend (who has mono), his mind becomes clearer, allowing him to realize his full intellectual potential and making him smarter. As a result, he tries to pass on some of that wisdom to Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams.

    Here's the exchange:

    [George and Yankees Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams are at the ballpark.]

    George: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant. (Hits a home run) It's not complicated.

    Jeter: Now who are you again?

    George: George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary.

    Williams: Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?

    George: Do you wanna talk about hotels, or do you wanna win some ball games?

    Jeter: We won the World Series.

    George: In six games.

No. 3: Buck Showalter

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    Appearance: "The Chaperone" (Season 6, Episode 1)—September 22, 1994

    In this scene, George gives Buck a piece of his mind.

    Here's the exchange:

    [George approaches Buck Showalter at Yankee Stadium.]

    GEORGE: Hey, Buck. Talk to you for a second?

    SHOWALTER: Sure, George.

    GEORGE: How's everything going? Everything okay?

    SHOWALTER: Well, all of a sudden there's a problem with Tartabull's swing...

    GEORGE: Listen, Buck, I uh...obviously I don't need to talk to you about the importance of player morale, but uh...I've been talking to some of the guys, and some of them - I don't want to mention any names - but some of them...they're not too happy with the polyester uniforms.

    SHOWALTER: How so?

    GEORGE: Well, they get very hot in the polyester. You know, it's not a natural fiber. I think they would prefer cotton.

    SHOWALTER: Cotton, huh?

    GEORGE: Yeah. Cotton breathes, you see, it's much softer. Imagine playing games and your team is five degrees cooler than the other team. Don't you think that would be an advantage? They're cooler, they're more comfortable...they're happier. They're gonna play better.

    SHOWALTER: You may have something there, George.

    GEORGE: Oh, I've got something.

    SHOWALTER (considering): Hmm. Cotton uniforms.

No. 2: Paul O'Neill

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    Appearance: "The Wink" (Season 7, Episode 4)—October 12, 1995

    In this scene, Kramer sneaks up on Paul O'Neill and tries to get the right fielder to hit a couple of home runs for a kid in the hospital.

    Here's the exchange:

    [Dressing room at Yankee Stadium]

    KRAMER: Mr. O'Neill?

    O'NEILL: Yeah.

    KRAMER: Yeah, uh, look, you don't know me. I'm not crazy or anything.

    O'NEILL: I can give you an autograph there, but my pen's kind of screwed up. You'd only like half a "P" or something.

    KRAMER: No, it's uh, not that see. It's about a little boy in a hospital. I was wondering if you could do something to lift his spirits.

    O'NEILL: Sure, I could help you there.

    KRAMER: Sure, well I promised you would hit him two home runs.

    O'NEILL: Say what?

    KRAMER: You know, Click! A couple of dingers.

    O'NEILL: You promised a kid in the hospital that I would hit two home runs?

    KRAMER: Yeah, well, no good?

    O'NEILL: Yeah. That's no good. It's terrible. You don't hit home runs like that. It's hard to hit home runs. And where the heck did you get two from?

    KRAMER: Two is better than one.

    O'NEILL: That, that's ridiculous. I'm not a home run hitter.

    KRAMER: Well, Babe Ruth did it.

    O'NEILL: He did not.

    KRAMER: Oh, do you say that Babe Ruth is a liar?

    O'NEILL: I'm not calling him a liar but he was not stupid enough to promise two.

    KRAMER: Well, maybe I did overextend myself.

    O'NEILL: How the heck did you get in here anyway?

No. 1: George Steinbrenner, A.K.A. "The Boss"

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    Appearance: "The Invitation" (Season 7, Episode 22)—May 16, 1996

    George Steinbrenner filmed scenes for "The Inviation," but they never aired.

    Fortunately, the scenes are on the DVD collection.