Top Ten Ways to Stop the Jimmie Johnson Juggernaut

Matthew MerrillContributor IOctober 15, 2008

It looks like (for the third year in a row) Jimmie Johnson is going to win the Sprint Cup.

So I have decided to devote my time to finding a way to stop this Michael Phelps of the race track by creating ten different (humorous and harmless) ways to stop the "Johnson Juggernaut"

10. Create a trail of different odds and ends that he can do with Kobalt tools leading away from the track on Sunday morning...how could he pass it up?

9. Hide his keys...wait, would that work???

8. Have Kevin Harvick say something bad about his mother...it would be harmless to Johnson, but Harvick would be looking backwards for a week...

7. Convince the Coke Zero guys to kidnap him

6. Forget McCain or Obama...let's elect Jimmie president...that way, he will be so busy, he will miss the Homestead race

5. Write "Jimmie <3's Kyle Busch" on his windshield

4. Make all of the races Chicagoland or Homestead (the only two tracks Jimmie hasn't won at yet)

3. Get him a reality TV show so everyone thinks that it's fake

2. Have him sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at a Cubs game... it worked on Jeff

1. Tell him Hendrick likes Junior better... he will be so distraught he might leave the team...

*The author of this article in no way meant any discrimination to Jimmie Johnson's fans, Kevin Harvick's fans, or Dale Junior's fans...maybe a little to Kyle Busch...

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