Drudging through one of the worst seasons in franchise history—and that's saying a lot—the Cubs used their July 24th walk-off win over the 33-69 Houston Astros as an opportunity to celebrate the championship victory that will never come.
In a duel of ineptness, the Cubs flexed their diminutive muscle in a three-game sweep which featured the historic arms of Randy Wells and Wandy Rodriguez, the battle between the midgets of Jose Altuve and Tony Campana, as well as the confusing, yet entertaining, managing of Brad Millls and your All-Star manger, Mike Quade.
Respectively fourth and fifth in the N.L Central standings prior to the series, baseball fans were treated to three games of poor pitching, terrible hitting and even worse fielding.
Game one showcased the inability of Carlos Zambrano to do something very pertinent to all pitchers—avoid hits, by giving up nine base hits over the course of six innings. But true to Astros style, those nine hits resulted in the only two runs for the 'Stros.
The embarrassing portion of Game 2 was the dominance of Randy Wells.
Randy Wells, yes the same guy who hasn't won a start since April and was 0-3 with a 7.38 ERA in his nine previous starts, befuddled the bats of Carlos Lee, Hunter Pence and the rest of the Houston lineup.
If that wasn't enough, Game 2 also starred the suddenly bad Carlos Marmol, who had the clean sheet of a hit-batter, a single, 19 pitches and an ugly ninth inning.
But it was Game 3 that stole the show, as not only did the Cubs win their third game in a row for the first time all year, but in the process, they managed to fix everything in Cubby Land.
With one walk-off hit, fueled by a misplayed ball in the outfield and two intentional walks, the Cubs were able to erase four months of baseball humility.
Or at least that's the way it appeared.
For all the losing the Cubs have done this year, they sure didn't show it, as the players rushed Jeff Baker, after his game-winning hit, and mobbed him with a pennant-clinching fervor, while Cubs fans cheered and sang gloriously "Go Cubs Go" like it was 2008, as Tom Ricketts danced in the stands.
Because if the Cubs know how to do one thing—and winning certainly isn't it—it's definitely partying.
They can party their way to 100 losses.