Supremo, why are you moving F1 East?
Some scurrilous and vindictive people, especially on Bleacher Report, have made absurd and outrageous allegations about my relocation of F1 away from its traditional roots. It has been suggested there is some sordid financial motive - ridiculous, I say, damn silly.
The fact is, I feel the cold at my age, it is a cruel ordeal for me to stand on a wet and windswept grid in England or France. Why do people want to torment an old man? Any more of it and I'll be straight on to Help The Aged.
Why are we getting night races?
People come up with all sorts of complicated crap, don't they? Some places are too hot during the day, that's the only reason.
Will you keep Shanghai?
No. I thought China was a warmer place than it turned out to be.
How rich are you?
I am a very poor man. My wife has the money, she controls everything. She's from some bloody silly country where they don't speak English, don't ask me what it's called. I'll tell you what though, they're not getting a Grand Prix. Not warm enough, see? Just not warm enough.
What do you fear?
- B/R Ticket Guide
I used be terrorised at races by a man with a big microphone, I thought he was going to hit me with it. But my wife, I think she's named Kristonka or something, told me how to deal with it. Just be yourself, she said, say something really stupid and people will think you're clever.
That worked for me, it really did. He still frightens me though, and I have told the BBC not to give him a job.
What do you think of Lewis Hamilton?
Every race has the same winner, and that's me, so I don't care who the drivers are. I'm sick of this nonsense about racism. It's the honest truth that skin colour means nothing to me, damn these cataracts.
What do you think of Felipe Massa?
I've never heard of him, is he a driver? My wife likes the drivers. In her old country she had a job putting lead in pencils, and she says they remind her of that.
Do you have friends?
Sometimes in the evening my good friend Maximillian comes to call. We have a little chat about which team we're going to jump on, and then he visits Kristonka's rooms. Those two are firm friends, and they do exercises together. The noise is awful, and he comes out walking bent double, but he looks happy. Family, friendship, happiness; those are the important things to me.
What is the future of F1?
If people want Eco, then I'm happy to oblige. I had an amazing Eco-dream, I saw it all. We're 
going to have cars with big wheels at the back, and little wheels at the front, so they're always running downhill - do you see?
Look, I've done a drawing, my nurse only helped me a bit. No engines will be needed, how Eco is that?
So no more refueling stops?
Why do you say that? Are you stupid? Change is the enemy of progress, of course we'll still have them. We just won't put any fuel in.
Do you have any remaining ambitions?
Yes, a change of government, so I can get a knighthood.
Who will you hand over to?
I am waiting for a son.
Is that realistic?
Yes, I'm giving my chauffeur some overtime.
Supremo, thank you for speaking to us.
It has been an honour for you.
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about 1 month ago
Good job mate, fun read--I liked the sketches especially of the red car
from about 1 month ago
Thanks Saraswathi. The red car was the only sketch, should there be more? Too late now.
about 1 month ago
Amazing work, very witty humour, my cuppa-tea.
I loved the 'always going downhill joke' I can see Bernie saying all of this, which is what makes this so funny.
Well done. POTD.
from about 1 month ago
Thanks for the pick, I love 'em. The old jokes are the best, but I never mentioned Bernie.
from about 1 month ago
Indeed you never, however I guessed or assumed you were on about the tight little man himself.
about 1 month ago
great stuff POTD & 5stars
from about 1 month ago
Thanks Isuru.
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